Bent
by SilverxXxWings
Summary: He's not broken, just bent. She'll never stop trying to fix him. She's the only drug that's ever made him feel anything real. He's the reason for her fall to the dark side. They've been playing cat and mouse for years, but something's got to give eventually. BxE - AH - Mature content to follow
1. Prologue

Bent – Prologue

I don't recognize my own reflection. I don't know who the brown eyed stranger staring back at me with her wild hair and raccoon ringed eyes is, but she's not me.

She can't be me, because that would make this entire nightmare out to be real.

The girl in my reflection grips the sides of the porcelain sink and tries to steady her breathing. I close my eyes and for a minute as she and the rest of the world disappear. For a minute I'm not miles away from home. I'm safe in my bed and none of this happened. He didn't happen.

But then I smell it.

Leather, smoke, and minty fresh nicotine gum and I know that he's here and it was all real.

I want to scream. I want to hit him and cry and throw things until this all goes away. I want to tell him that it's over and done. These games we've been playing all these years aren't fun anymore and I don't want it or him in my life. I want him to hurt like he hurts me. Like we hurt each other, really. But I want the last blow.

I want to tell him to go to hell.

But then I catch a glimpse of him standing next to the stranger in the mirror and I know I can't.

_We're in deep, brown eyes. _

That's what he's telling me without saying a single word. His eyes tell me everything I need to know without him needing to utter a single syllable. We've been tethered to one another since we were kids. We've really fucked up this time. There's no going back. We're in this together.

He lights up a cigarette and takes a deep pull, slowly letting loose the smoke from his lips. It's intoxicating, just like him. It's dangerous and vile, just like him. It's so wrong, just like him. But I can't stay away from it, or him.

I turn around to face him and almost crumble. I almost lose it right there and sink to the dirty bathroom floor of the cheap motel. But something keeps me from losing it completely. Maybe I'm just so far beyond sane that I can't even react properly to my circumstances anymore.

Apparently he can't either because he starts laughing.

It's all wrong. It's not the laugh I know and love. It's lost. It's empty, just like the boy it's coming from. There's no humor in this hysterical laughter.

He stops laughing and his face softens as he takes another drag from his Marlboro. He takes a step closer to me and reaches out to touch my face with just the tips of his fingers. I step back before he even has the chance and focus my eyes on the ground.

"You know I love you. I love you more than anything. I love you so much it makes me crazy. That's why we're here right now, together," he tells me.

He's right. I know he's right. Every cell in my electrically charged body knows he's fucking right.

He loves me. He loves me to a point where rationality is a total after thought and I love him the same. We're reckless in our actions and with each other's hearts. We don't think, we just close our eyes and leap and feel and whoever gets hurt in the process, well, it sucks. We give each other more shit than anyone should ever have to take. And when it's all over, we run right back for more. We push and play and use until there's nothing left of either of us and then demand more.

Our love makes us stupid. Our love makes us crazy. Our love constantly, _constantly_, blurs the lines between wrong and right. Obliterates them until they don't even exist anymore.

But our love went too far this time.

There's no coming back from this. His eyes tell me that everything will be alright, but I can see that he doesn't believe it himself. We're going to pay for this. I can feel it bubbling beneath the surface. Everything we've fought for is about to be ripped from our hands.

I should run, but I can't because despite all of that I know something else about our love that I don't even think he realizes.

Our love heals. Our love makes the impossible possible. Our love builds bridges before it tears them down. Our love is raw and real and pure. It's probably the purest thing within either of our jacked up, stubborn fucking souls these days. And that has to count for something, right?

It has to help redeem us.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

I turn back to the mirror and face the reflection of the girl I can no longer deny is me. She looks weak, broken down by years and years of obsessive love. I look at my white halter dress and then at the leather-clad heathen behind me. The once-innocent little girl in her pretty dress and the troublemaking bad boy in his tight leather jacket.

The fallen angel and the devil that pulled her down from heaven.

"What do we do now?" I ask.

I don't know who I'm asking. Am I asking him? The girl in the mirror? The universe? I have no way of knowing because I don't think anyone holds the answer to my question.

Maybe there's nothing left to do.

He drops his cigarette to the floor and stubs it out into the tiles with his foot. I feel him grasp my shoulder and turn me around, but I still can't bring myself to meet his eyes. He places a single finger under my chin and lifts my head until I have no choice.

"I won't let you take the fall for this. I'll protect you. You have to be safe. Despite everything, that's always been my number one priority," he says softly.

And I know he's right. I know he'd burn down the world and destroy the ashes if it meant keeping me safe. Even when he's so far gone that I can't reach him, he's always done everything he could to protect me. He'll protect me from everyone and everything. It just so happens that this time the thing I need protecting from, is him.

I throw myself into his arms and he crushes me so tight against him that I can barely breathe. I can't see. I can't think or feel. And the secret is, I don't want to. All I want is to pretend that everything's okay. I want to pretend that we're a normal couple. That we don't constantly invent new ways to hurt each other. I want to pretend that everything will be alright.

Because it's just like he told me earlier.

We're in deep.

It's our love. Our game. _Ours. Ours. Ours._

And it's about to crush us both.


	2. Charlie Brown

Chapter One – Charlie Brown

"_All the boys, all the girls, all that matters in this world. All the boys, all the girls, all the madness that occurs. All the highs, all the lows, as the room is spinning goes. We'll run riot, we'll be glowing in the dark. We soar luminous and wired; we'll be glowing in the dark." – _Charlie Brown by Coldplay

**BPOV**

_September 1998, 5 Years Old_

It's my first day of kindergarten and I'm nervous as can be.

Mommy promises that I'm the prettiest girl at Forks Elementary. She let me wear my favorite blue dress and my strappy sandals with the sunflowers on the buckles. She tells me that all the other kids will love me as much as she does and that I'll have friends in no time.

I already have a friend though. Her name is Alice and we went to Miss Karen's daycare together all summer. But Alice is a year older than me, so she's in first grade instead of kindergarten and I know I won't see her today until lunch and recess. It would be a lot better if Alice was here too. We had the best summer together, eating messy fudge pops and running through sprinklers, laughing until our tummies hurt from the effort.

I see the big doors that go into the school and my tummy feels far away from laughing hurt. It kind of just feels sick.

"Here we are, Bella," Mommy says bending down to my level. "Are you excited, sweetie?"

"Can't I just stay at home with you?" I ask.

"Bella, don't worry so much. You're going to have a great time in kindergarten. This is where you're going to make the friends that will last throughout the whole rest of your life here in Forks."

Mommy smiles and she looks so happy that I don't tell her my tummy still feels sick. I just nod and let her take my hand and steer me into the big building. I recognize some of the kids from my Pre-K class last year as we walk through the hall, like Rosie, the pretty blonde girl who used to share her cookies with me. I see Emmett too. He used to scare me, 'cause he's so big, but I think mommy says it best when she said that he's just a big teddy bear.

We get to Mrs. Baker's classroom and Mommy has to let me go. She kisses the top of my head and tells me again how pretty I look and that I'll have so much fun the day will be over before I know it. Then she tells me to go get 'em, whatever that means, and gives me a little nudge into the room.

Mrs. Baker is a tall lady with red hair and a nice smile. She smells like chalk and markers and peanut butter banana sandwiches. Mrs. Baker tells me I can put my Winnie the Pooh backpack in my cubby, a small square with my name written over it in yellow marker. I slide my backpack and my white sweater off and then look at her until she tells me where my seat is and that I can go sit down or play with the other kids until the bell rings.

I look at the other kids and feel sad when I realize that I don't recognize any of them. They must have been in the other Pre-K classes and some of them even look like they're already friends. I bite my lip and decide to just take a seat at the table across the room that Mrs. Baker told me was mine. I pick the seat closest to the window and sit down, looking outside at the pretty leaves falling down from the trees. They're yellow and red and orange and they look so pretty that I can't wait for recess. Maybe I can find someone to jump in them with me.

"What 'cha doing?" someone asks. I turn my head around real fast and see a little boy with funny looking reddish brown hair. He has really bright green eyes and he looks nice enough. Maybe he can be my first friend. Maybe he'll make piles with the leaves and jump in them with me.

"Looking outside. Who are you?" I ask.

"My name's Edward. What's yours?"

"Isabella, but my mommy and daddy call me Bella," I tell him.

"What are you looking at?" he asks as he sits down in the chair next to mine.

"The leaves. I want to jump in them when we go outside for recess," I say with a shrug.

"That sounds cool! Can I jump with you?" he says with a big smile. It takes me a whole second before I answer him because, for some reason, when Edward smiles, I want to smile too.

"Do you really want to?"

"Sure. You're my friend, why wouldn't I?" he says simply.

He says he's my friend! I smile bigger than mommy did earlier when she dropped me off. I smile bigger than getting presents on my birthday and Christmas. I smile bigger than Alice did the first time Miss Karen bought us fudge pops this summer (fudge pops are Alice's favoritest). I just made my first friend and it was easy peasy. I can't wait for recess later and jumping in the leaves. I can't wait to tell mommy and daddy and Alice about making a new friend.

Maybe kindergarten won't be so scary.

~ 0 o 0 ~

_December 1998, 5 Years Old_

It's the last day of school before Christmas vacation. It's snowing outside and Mrs. Baker is going to let us put on our snowsuits and go outside for recess today, but first we have to have our Christmas party. Mommy let me wear my red and green plaid dress and put my hair in pigtails today for the special occasion.

Mrs. Baker is trying to teach us about dinosaurs, but we're all too excited about the party to really pay attention. I try really hard, but then I feel Edward tug on one of my pigtails from his seat next to me and I look over at him instead. He has a silly smile on his face. I stick my tongue out at him and go back to trying to learn about brontosauruses. Edward gets upset when I don't pay attention to him, so he tugs on my pigtail again. I just giggle and then I hear him start to laugh too.

"Edward, Bella, what's so funny?" Mrs. Baker asks in her teacher voice.

There's two different kinds of voices when it comes to Mrs. Baker. There's her normal voice, when we're all having fun and everyone is doing what they're supposed to. Then there's her teacher voice. That's the voice she used when Mike Newton threw paint at Lauren and ruined her new purple jumper. It's also the voice she's using now when Edward and I get caught laughing with each other instead of paying attention to her lesson. Edward hears the teacher voice a lot more than I do, so he's not really worried, but my tummy tumbles when I hear my name.

"Nothing, Mrs. Baker. Sorry," I mumble.

Edward just snickers, but quiets down so Mrs. Baker can finish teaching us about the dinosaurs.

When it's finally time for the party, Mrs. Baker lets us go to our cubbies to get the snacks we brought in. Mommy let me go to Edward's house last night to make cookies with him his mommy, Esme. Esme is really pretty. Mommy tells me about angels sometimes. She says they're really nice and bright and bring sunshine into people's lives. That's what Esme reminds me of, an angel. She was smiling and laughing the whole time she helped us make the cookies and she let me eat chocolate chips out of the bag, after we put them in the cookies first, of course. I like going to Edward's house and seeing his mommy. Last night he told me that we could share mommies and then we'd both have two since two is better than one. So now I have my mommy and an angel mommy.

While we eat our snacks and listen to Christmas songs, I feel Edward tug on my pigtails again.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I got you something for Christmas. Here," he says handing me a little package. I smile at him real big and tear at the snowflake covered wrapping paper. Inside is a little doll, no bigger than my hand. She's a lot smaller than my other dolls, but I decide instantly that she's the prettiest one I have.

"Thanks, Edward," I say giving him a hug.

"Know why I picked her?" he asks. I look at the doll for a minute, but shake my head. Edward smiles and leans in closer. "She has brown eyes, just like you. Yours are prettier though," he adds.

I smile so big, I think my face might fall apart.

~ 0 o 0 ~

_May 2002, 8 years old _

Rosie and I are sitting underneath a tree at recess, playing with our dolls and laughing up a storm. I was so excited when I found out she was in my class this year after not really seeing her since Pre-K. Now, third grade is almost over and neither one of us can believe it.

We've spent many recesses just like this one. We sit under the tree near the kickball field and play with our dolls or color or make daisy chains together. I like the tree near the kickball field because I can keep an eye on Edward from here. He would rather play ball with the boys than sit with me and Rosie and that's fine, but at least I can see him from here. I like playing dolls with Rosie, but Edward is still my bestest friend. I go over to his house sometimes after school and we make snacks with Esme at the kitchen table. Sometimes Edward's daddy, Carlisle comes back from business trips and is too tired for me to come over. On those days, Mommy takes us out for ice cream or will let us watch movies in the living room on daddy's big TV. Our mommies always make us do our homework first though. We've managed to get the same teacher every year since we met in kindergarten. Edward even lets me play with my dolls while he runs his Matchbox cars around on our living room floor sometimes. He says dolls are girly, but he never minds. Especially when I play with Isabella, the doll he got me for Christmas when we were five.

Edward and I are the best of friends and I couldn't be happier. I still talk to my other friends too, like Alice and Rosie, but Edward's my favorite. Mommy says we go together like peanut butter and jelly, but we both like peanut butter and banana sandwiches better. We can never agree on which one of us is the peanut butter and which one's the banana, though. Maybe there's some questions you just never find out the answer to.

We don't always get to act like peanut butter and banana sandwiches in school because we do different things, but as soon as the last bell rings, we go right back to being the best of best friends.

Rosie and I are brushing out our doll's hair when I hear the plop of a kickball hitting the ground next to me.

I look down at the field and see Edward running around the bases, obviously hitting a homerun. I feel proud of my best friend and jump up to clap. Rosie isn't really into sports and stuff, but she stands up and starts clapping too. Before long, we're both jumping and giggling at the boys below us.

Edward runs up the hill to get the ball after he makes it home.

"Did you see that, Bella?" he shouts, grinning at me from ear to ear.

"That was awesome, Edward!" I say, dropping my doll and giving him a big hug. He hugs me back and then we're both laughing.

"Look! Edward likes Bella!" Emmett yells from the field. We both turn around to look at where him and rest of the boys are bent over belly-laughing at us. Edward looks pale, but I just scrunch up my face and get mad. They're trying to say that Edward is my boyfriend and that's not true. I know all about boyfriends. Rosie and Mike are boyfriend and girlfriend. They hold hands sometimes when they think nobody is looking and share their snacks with each other.

I guess Edward and I kind of do those things too, but we're best friends with each other, so it's different. Really different.

I scrunch my hands into fists and start to make my way down the hill to tell Emmett what's what. Daddy says that I should never fight with the other kids, but Emmett's being really mean and he made Edward look upset. I don't ever want Edward to look like that. One time, I was at his house when his daddy got home from one of his trips. He started yelling at Esme in the kitchen and Edward and I could hear them. He got the same look on his face and I promised myself that he would never look like that again if I could help it.

I'm halfway down the hill when Edward starts after me and holds me back. He just shakes his head and looks at the ground like he's about to do something that will make him sad. He looks up at me and says "sorry" so soft that only I can hear it.

"Yeah right, Emmett! Bella's just a dumb girl!" he shouts back. He takes off down the hill and the boys start laughing again. I feel tears in my eyes, but I don't want to cry in front of Rosie and everyone else.

Edward's never hurt my feelings before. We're best friends and we're supposed to go together like peanut butter and banana for the rest of our lives, but he just did the worst thing he ever could have done. I wipe at my eyes and run down the hill after him. He has his back to me and is laughing with the rest of the boys.

Until I tackle him to the ground and start hitting him.

Mrs. O'Leary runs over with another one of the teachers to pull me off of him. They bring me inside and tell me that they'll have to call my mommy. I know I should be scared, but all I can think of is the look on Edward's face while they pulled me away. He looked sad, like he wished he could take back what he said. But it's too late to do that now.

It's the first time I've ever been "just a dumb girl" to Edward.

But it won't be the last.

~ 0 o 0 ~

_February 2004, 10 years old _

Edward Cullen is the biggest ass I've ever met.

Daddy would be really mad at me if he knew that I used a swear, even if it is in my head, but I just don't care. Edward deserves it. He makes me want to use all kinds of swears that I'm not supposed to know about. I don't know how we were ever friends. Alice tells me that it'll only get worse once we get to middle school. She's been in sixth grade since September, so she knows what she's talking about. She says that while the girls grow up, the boys just get more immature.

Great.

Rosie tries to tell me that it's not a big deal, but she's wrong. I bet if Edward had stood up in the cafeteria and announced that Eric Yorkie was _her _boyfriend, she'd be losing it. Now the whole fifth grade thinks I'm in love with Eric. The worst part is, Emmett told Rosie that he likes me so he's all excited about it. I've already had to pull his arm off my shoulder three times since lunch.

Yeah, I'm going to kill Edward.

We're outside on the playground now and Rosie is popping a cherry red lollipop in and out of her mouth. Emmett gave it to her because Valentine's Day is on Saturday and they won't be able to see each other. It's funny, for the boy who declared that all girls have cooties in third grade; he sure seems to care a lot about Rosie and what she thinks of him these days. Lauren Mallory is totally jealous of the whole thing too. She's had a crush on Emmett since like, second grade. So she sits and pouts while Rosie twirls her lollipop and tries to tell me that my life isn't completely over.

"Everyone will forget all about it by next week, Bella," she promises as she brushes my hair.

"That doesn't change the fact that Edward is a jerk," I mutter.

"Maybe he did it because he likes you," Angela teases as she and Jess fall into a fit of giggles.

I wrinkle my nose and pretend to gag. "Yeah, right."

Edward and I haven't even been friends since that day in third grade when I beat him up. I can still remember the look on Daddy's face when Mom told him about the phone call she received from the principal that their angelic little girl had started a fight on the playground. A fight with her best friend, no less.

Mom made me call Edward that night and apologize. He forgave me and tried to tell me how he was sorry for showing off in front of the boys like that. I told him it was okay and everything seemed to go back to normal until he did it again two weeks later and then again at third grade graduation. Mom told me that sometimes it's hard for boys and girls to be friends at our age because we're interested in so many different things from each other. I didn't care much about that though; I just thought Edward was a jerk.

Apparently, some things never change.

He's only gotten worse over the last two years. Mom and Esme still talk sometimes and apparently the principal is always calling home about Edward. He spends all his time with Emmett and Tyler and Mike. They rough house and play-fight on the playground at recess and play pranks on the other boys that they aren't friends with, like Eric. Edward made it personal today when he dragged me into it though. I know we're not best friends, or even kind of friends anymore, but you'd think that all those years we were friends would count for something.

I'm still embarrassed by the whole thing when Alice's mom drops her off at my house after school.

"You know, this never would have happened if you'd just kept me on as your only best friend," Alice says as she paints my nails Tickle Me Pink.

"Tell me about it," I say covering my face with a pillow.

"I'm just kidding, Bella. Edward's just going through that stupid phase all guys do before middle school. It's like they regress back to being five or something."

"Except that he was way nicer when he was five," I tell her.

She shrugs and dips the tiny brush back into the bottle. "People grow apart before junior high. It's just something that happens. I agree with your friend Rosie though, there'll be some new scandal by next week and everyone will forget all about Edward and his lunch room antics," she assures me.

Alice and Rosie are both wrong.

Monday morning I walk into the classroom and slide off my Backstreet Boys backpack and fluffy green jacket only to find my cubby decorated with pink and red hearts that say "Mrs. Yorkie," on them. It doesn't take very long before I start to see red. I throw my stuff in the cubby and turn around until I spot Edward. He's standing by Mike's desk looking at the newest issue of Sports Illustrated. I march over to them and hit him on the back of the head.

"What was that for?" he demands.

"What did you do to my cubby, Edward?"

A lazy smirk appears on his face. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back on the desk where Mike sits, laughing. "I don't know what you're talking about, Bella."

I clench my fists and feel like screaming. The little boy I met in Mrs. Baker's kindergarten class is nowhere to be found. The jerk standing in front of me is all that's left of afternoon play dates and ice cream outings and movies on Dad's big screen. I don't even recognize him.

I take a deep breath. "Take them down, Edward."

"Take what down Mrs. York—I mean, Bella," he laughs.

"Stop it," I demand.

"Make me," he counters.

A small crowd has gathered on the edges of the classroom by now. I spot Rosie at the head of it, shaking her head at me and trying to tell me to just walk away. I probably should, but I don't want to. I'm not even just mad for me. Eric is getting it just as bad as I am and neither one of us deserves it. Edward is just a big bully who thinks he can do whatever he wants and he's wrong.

"Apologize, Edward. Apologize to me and Eric."

"Aw, look! Bella's standing up for her lover!" he shouts. The entire class, save Rosie, bursts into laughter at Edward's outburst. They point and laugh, which only makes me angrier. I spot Emmett next to Rosie, trying to be good and not laugh for her sake, but doing a really bad job of it. Once again, Edward has managed to make me the butt of his joke.

"Take it back you – you ass!" I shout. There's a gasp from the crowd around us.

"Bella! Edward! Principal's office, right now," comes the unmistakable voice of Mr. Horner, our teacher.

I shoot Edward a glare, but make my way out of the room and toward Principal Hafner's office. I don't even care that I'm in trouble. At least Edward is too and as long as he gets what's coming to him, I could care less about myself. Principal Hafner looks surprised to see me and gives me some lecture about how he expects more from me as one of the top students at Forks Intermediate. My good kid standing gets me off with just a warning though.

Edward isn't nearly as lucky. The principal just shakes his head as Edward takes a seat in one of the office chairs, looking a little too comfortable. I guess comfort is something that develops after spending more afternoons in the office than your own classroom like he has though. The last thing I see as I head back to class is the principal dialing the phone to reach Edward's mother. I'm about to leave when Edward turns around and looks at me.

For a second I think I see regret on his face. It almost looks like he feels bad for what he's done and getting me in trouble when I didn't really even do anything. But when I look a little closer, the look is gone as fast as it appeared and in its place is a smirk that seems to convey only one message.

_Game on, Swan. _

~ 0 o 0 ~

_October 2006, 13 years old _

"God, would you look at Newton? Who knew that boy would grow up to look like that?" Jessica snickers.

"I don't know, I think I still hit the hormone lottery with Emmett," Rosalie replies behind red heart-shaped sunglasses. She decided that since we're in eighth grade now and at the top of the junior high social ladder, she needed a more grown-up name. Gone is little Rosie, the plump kid with blonde curly-cues and in her place is Rosalie Lauren Hale, a true testament to the beautiful things puberty can accomplish.

"You girls ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait until you get to high school," Alice dreamy-sighs.

We're sitting on the bleachers, watching the modified boy's soccer team warm up for practice. Jess and Lauren are flipping through the newest issue of Seventeen while I catch some sun behind the lens of the Ray-Bans I saved up for all summer and Alice sips lazily from a Cherry Coke. Eighth grade has only just started and from the stories Alice brings back to us, we already can't wait for high school. Five more years and then we're free to leave Forks behind and start our real lives.

I can't wait.

"Hey, guys! Looks like we've got an audience," Emmett calls running over to Rosalie. He runs up the bleachers, ignoring the squeals from us girls, and plants a big kiss right on her lips. Mike and Tyler laugh and run over, making small talk with Jess and Lauren. At the other end of the field, Edward slowly lopes his way over.

As much as I hate to admit it, puberty has been good to him, too.

Edward, Emmett, and Mike have all started to fill out faster than the other boys in our grade and they all look good, but Edward looks the best of all. He's all tall, muscled limbs and toned legs. He keeps his hair messy these days and can rock a pair of dark-wash jeans like nobody else could ever dream of.

We don't really talk anymore, which I guess is a better option to the alternative. We tried to make each other's lives hell in fifth and sixth grade, ever since that stupid stunt he pulled with me and Eric Yorkie. We were constantly arguing and getting each other in trouble. By the middle of sixth grade, I'd probably spent as much time in the principal's office as he has, which is a lot. Eventually, Mom and Dad got fed up with the constant phone calls home and stints in detention and threatened to ground me for the summer if things didn't change.

I guess Esme had similar threats for Edward, because we both just kind of dropped the whole thing.

I turn my attention to Jess and Lauren's discarded magazine while everyone talks to their boys, so I don't notice at first when someone takes a seat next to me.

"Hey, brown eyes," a familiar voice says. I look up and see a pair of green eyes that haven't been this close to me since we were eight years old.

"Hey," I say softly. I'm not really sure what to make of him. Edward and I may not try to one up each other anymore, but we definitely didn't fall back into being friends. More often than not, we just kind of try to pretend the other one doesn't exist.

"How are things?" he asks, stretching out his impossibly long legs and leaning back on the bleachers.

"Fine," I tell him for the sake of conversation.

Something about this whole thing feels off. It isn't just the fact that Edward is actually acknowledging my existence, there's something in his voice that isn't right. I lean a little closer to him and take a better look at his green eyes. It's been a while since I've really been able to look at them, but they aren't quite as bright as I remember them. In fact, they look a little cloudy.

"Edward?" I ask.

"Yeah, Bella?" His voice is quiet, softer than normal. Something fires in the back of my brain and I think about Mrs. Cope's fifth period health class. We're doing healthy living presentations and Rosalie's was all about the harmful effects of drug use. Oh, shit.

"Are you high?"

"Shh! Keep it down, Bella. Jesus," he mutters. He looks nervously across the soccer field. I follow his gaze and see Peter and Jake, two well-known "bad guys." If Forks has a wrong side of town, they hail from the center of it. At least I know where Edward got his weed from.

"Well what did you do that for?" I ask him.

"You're not my mother, Bella," he says immediately. It isn't until he realizes what he's said that I see him wince.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" I offer sadly.

Now that I'm older, I've begun to realize a lot of things that I didn't when I was a little kid. Like just how often Edward's dad would come home from his "business trips" and go at it with his mother. I guess when you're five, parents seem invincible. It wasn't until just recently, when I overheard Emmett talking to Rosalie about it, that I realize that Carlisle Cullen may have some secrets. Edward always used to hide away at my house while that shit when down. I wonder where he went once we weren't friends anymore.

"It's not a big deal," he assures me.

"Edward if—"

"Come on, Cullen! We need to get back to practice," Emmett yells. He takes off in the direction of the field, flanked by Tyler and Mike.

Edward nods and stands to join them. "See you around, brown eyes."

~ 0 o 0 ~

_March 2007, 13 years old _

Tonight is the first dance of the year. Even though it's not my first middle school dance ever, my stomach is still full of butterflies and excitement, just like the first time.

I spin around Rosalie's bedroom floor in my knee-length black taffeta dress. Jess giggles and throws a pillow at me while Lauren yells at her for bouncing the bed and tries for the third time to apply her eye-liner. Avril Lavigne blasts out of Rosalie's stereo, singing about how she doesn't like your girlfriend. We're all smiles and giggles as we get ready for our second-to-last middle school dance.

When we're finally ready, we all head downstairs and pile into Mrs. Hale's mini-van. We try to sing along with Fergie about all the things that make us Fergalicious, but Mrs. Hale doesn't have my mother's tolerance for today's Top 40 Hits and makes us change the station to something more neutral, which only serves to make us giggle even more.

Before long we're at the school and making our way into the gym. Emmett steals Rosalie away from us almost immediately, so the rest of us single girls make our way to the center of the dance floor and have the time of our lives swaying to really bad pop songs. We grind and pop and move just like the girls we watched dancing in music videos on TRL all week. Jess demanded that we study up so we look good for all the guys. What she really wanted was to make sure that she looks good for Mike Newton though. I smile at the sixth grade girls awkwardly tapping their heels and standing against the walls of the gym. I remember how nervous I was at my first dance, but I'm glad those days are behind me and now I can just enjoy a night of acting wild with my friends.

We dance for an hour straight, until Jess sees Mike dancing with Kate and runs to the locker room bathroom, crying. Lauren goes after her, leaving me the odd girl out so I make my way out of the gym to grab a cookie and a glass of punch. The temperature drops almost immediately once I step into the hallway and away from the sweaty bodies dancing in the gym.

I grab a glass of sticky sweet red punch and an M&M filled cookie. I'm taking the first bite when I hear giggling down the hall.

Tanya Denali has her back against the wall and Edward's face in her neck.

I have to admit; I was surprised when it came out that they started dating in November. Tanya's the kind of girl who doesn't usually settle for just _one _guy and Edward's always too focused on his sports to care much about anything else. Except for Tanya's neck. Oh, and apparently her boobs.

I turn away from them and fight to keep down the rest of my cookie and drink. After a few minutes, I hear Tanya announce that she's going to the bathroom to freshen up and see her walk past me and toward the locker room where Jess and Lauren have yet to return from. I sigh and throw away my cup and napkin. Maybe I can find Rosalie and peel her away from Emmett long enough for Jess to pull herself together and return to me.

I turn to head back in the gym and smack right into Edward. He grabs my shoulder to keep me from falling backward and chuckles.

"Careful there, brown eyes," he smiles.

I don't miss the clouds in his otherwise bright green eyes.

Edward has gotten high off and on since the day I first caught him at soccer practice. It's not really a secret, but most people pretend it doesn't happen. According to Rosalie, he and Emmett got in a fight about it after practice only once this fall and after that, they kind of just let the subject drop. He doesn't do it when he hangs out with his friends from the team, only when he's with Peter and Jake. They're what my mom would call "bad influences."

"Sorry," I say softly.

"Are you having a good time?" he asks me.

"I was until Jess ran off crying over some stupid guy. It was a bit of a buzz kill."

He looks thoughtful for a second. "She's into Newton, right?"

I nod.

"Tell her she should just be up front with him about it. Newton's not exactly the brightest bulb in the box," he laughs.

I laugh and tell him that I'll relay that information to my friend. I realize that, for the first time in forever, Edward and I are just having a normal conversation. I don't think we've just talked like this since we were little kids. We're still playing the cordial, but mostly pretend the other person doesn't exist game these days. But by the way he's talking to me now, you would think we're still best friends, making cookies in his mother's kitchen.

Tanya comes out of the bathroom then and calls for Edward. He turns around and shouts that he'll be right there before he turns back to me. "Enjoy the rest of your night, brown eyes."

"You too," I say as he starts off. I decide to bite the bullet and ask him something that's been bothering me for a while now. "Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you keep calling me brown eyes?" I ask.

He smiles and starts walking backwards toward where Tanya and rest of his night wait for him. "Because they're still the prettiest," he says simply.

I pretend that my heart doesn't threaten to flutter out of my chest. High Edward is kind of sort of really sweet.

I'm ecstatic when Rosalie finds me minutes later and pulls me back into the gym. Jess and Lauren join us a few minutes later, just as the first chords of Don't Stop Believing come over the speakers. We join hands and scream the lyrics at the top our lungs, painting pictures of small town girls and lonely worlds with our words. We're all sweat and joy and feeling like we're on top of the world. Song after song plays until we've completely lost track of time. Emmett and Tyler come over to join us after a while and make us laugh even harder with their ridiculous dance moves. Soon, even Mike finds his way over and after I pass on Edward's advice to Jess, she spends the rest of the night wrapped up in him on the dance floor.

The songs end and the lights come up, signaling the end of the dance, but the natural high from our fun doesn't die down so quickly.

Emmett and Rose sneak off to say goodbye to each other while the rest of us gather up our belongings and head out front. I haven't seen Edward since running into him in the hallway, but I know that he's partly responsible for the good mood I'm in. Silly as it sounds, talking to him the hallway like that reminded me of simpler days when he was still my best friend.

I scan the crowded parking lot for my mother's car, but don't see her yet. Jess and Lauren find Jess' mom fairly easily and as far as I know, Rosalie is still inside with Emmett, leaving me alone on the sidewalk. I kick at a stone on the sidewalk with the toe of one of the black kitten heels Alice and my mother forced me into. Apparently, flats weren't good enough for a school dance. I look around again, hoping to find Mom and sigh when she's still nowhere in sight. I'm about to call her on the Trac Phone she and dad got me for my birthday when a familiar head of messy bronze hair catches my eye.

Edward stands away from the other kids, looking around frantically, but trying to play it off like he's fine. He looks sad and maybe a little lost. For whatever reason, the sight of him breaks my heart. I'm about to make my way over to him when Mom finally pulls up to the curb.

She rolls the window down with a big smile. "How was the dance, baby?" she asks.

"It was fun, Mom. Can we wait just a second before we leave? I have to talk to someone real quick," I tell her.

"Sure, Bella. Just don't be too long."

I nod and turn away from her, speed walking to where Edward stands, alone. He's kicking at the ground and shaking in the cold winter air without a coat on. He keeps his eyes on the ground beneath him, but every now and then they flicker up toward the emptying parking lot. I pass Rose and Emmett on my way over and they tell me goodnight as the pass into one of the last cars in the lot.

"Edward, are you alright?" I ask when I reach him. His head snaps up and he looks at me like I'm the last person he expects to see.

"I'm fine," he says after a minute. "I'm just waiting for my mom to get here."

I look around the lot. My mom is officially the last car standing and there don't seem to be any more cars pulling in. The dance has been over for twenty minutes now and everyone with the exception of me and Edward is safely on their way home.

"Are you sure?" I press.

He looks back at the ground, not wanting to meet my eyes. "She may have forgotten about it. She's been kind of flaky lately," he admits.

"Well, we could bring you home," I offer.

He looks back up at me and his green eyes finally meet my own. They're crystal clear and bright emerald green, just the way I've always remembered them. Whatever high Edward was on earlier, he's clearly come back down now. There's not a hint of drug induced cloudiness in his gaze, just his natural glimmer.

"You'd do that for me?" he says.

And I know the second the words leave his mouth that I will. Of course I will. It doesn't matter what happened when we were younger. We were just little kids and the whole thing seems so ridiculous to me now. Edward was my best friend and some part of him always will be. There will always be a little piece of me that would do anything and everything for him.

"Come on," I say simply, holding out my hand. He looks at it for a second before he slowly rests his hand in mine. It feels right. It feels like his hand should have been there all this time. We walk to my mom's car holding hands and she seems surprised to see him when we finally reach her. "Mom, can we give Edward a ride home?" I ask her, praying that she'll say yes.

"Of course," she says unlocking the doors. Edward and I climb into the back, buckling our seatbelts. "How are you, Edward sweetheart?"

"I'm doing well, Mrs. Swan. How are you?"

Edward and Mom make small talk the entire drive to his house. She asks him about school and sports. He seems so eager and his eyes light up even brighter when he talks about playing soccer and basketball on the school team. He's obviously really passionate about what he does and I'm pretty fixated on the way his entire demeanor shifts when he talks about the hobbies he loves. Everything about him becomes more excited and animated when he talks about his sports. You'd think he plays in the national league and not the Forks modified team.

The light slips a little when Mom asks about Esme. Edward tells her that she's fine, busy enough with work and taking care of him, but not doing anything too exciting. I can see in the way his face drops that he's not telling her everything though. I wonder just how much worse things may have gotten between Edward's parents since we stopped being friends. I slide my hand across the seat until it reaches his, reminding him that I'm here with him. He recovers with a smile the second our hands touch.

Our hands stay together the entire ride to his house.

We hear the screaming almost as soon as we pull up to Edward's house. Mom looks uneasy about leaving him off and Edward winces as the unmistakable voices of his mother and father rise and mix into the otherwise silent night air. It's hard to tell what they're arguing about, but a few unmistakable words and names slice through like a knife. I give his hand a tight squeeze and he looks over at me like he's never been happier to have me around.

"Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Swan," he says.

"Anytime, Edward. I'm so glad you and Bella have been talking. We've missed having you around," Mom smiles.

"I'll see you later, Bella," Edward says, giving my hand a last gentle squeeze. It's a simple gesture, but it says everything he doesn't want to say out loud.

It says: _Thank you for being there._

~ 0 o 0 ~

_June 2007, 13 years old _

I stand behind Jessica and adjust my yellow sundress with a hundred watt smile plastered on my face.

I can't believe we're finally here at our junior high graduation. After today, I can put the last three years behind me and move on to high school and the beginning of the next chapter of my life. Jess is bouncing on her toes in front of me and somewhere ahead of us Rosalie stands tall and proud.

Principal Greene gives a speech about moving forward and growing, but we're all too charged to pay any attention to the words coming out of his mouth. It isn't until our parents start cheering and they move the podium aside to make room for us to walk across the stage that I hone in on what's going on around me. Jess turns and smiles, bouncing on her heels, as they begin to call our names.

_Andrews…Atchison… Baker… Black… Carpenter… Cullen… _

"Edward Anthony Cullen," the principal calls out.

I watch Edward as he makes his way to the stage with a smirk on his face. His eyes are clear today and it's the first time I've seen them that way in months.

Things went downhill fast after the night of the dance. March seems like years ago when it was only months. Edward and I haven't spoken since he stepped out of my mother's car and into his house. Actually, Edward hasn't really spoken to anyone since that night. He quit the baseball team shortly after and spends just about all his time with Peter and Jacob these days. He and Tanya are still an item or whatever, but she's the only remnant of his life pre-that night that he's held on to. I remember Rosalie told me that Emmett was really upset when Edward just up and cut him off.

Emmett and I have that in common.

It's been a long time since Edward and I were close and I wasn't stupid enough to believe we'd go back to being best friends just because my mom gave him a ride home. I just hoped that maybe we could at least start talking again. But the Monday after the dance, it was like I went back to no longer existing in Edward's universe. He passed me in the halls, the cafeteria, the library; all without saying a word. It wasn't long before he pulled away from his other friends and pretty soon we were all left hanging without any explanation at all.

Edward takes his certificate and shakes hands with the principal. I follow his gaze out to the audience and spot Esme sitting by herself among the crowd. There's no Carlisle to be found.

I know suddenly that the clearness of his eyes is for her. I have no doubt that he'd be higher than a kite right now if it weren't for his mother and his love for her. I wonder if she knows what her son does in his free time. She must. There's no way she could not know. I wonder if it broke her heart that he stopped playing sports and trying at school. The look on her face beams pride, but I wonder if there's any heartbreak beneath the surface.

The principal continues calling names. Rosalie makes her way across the stage and blows the audience a kiss when they cheer for her. Emmett and Mike bound across the stage, pumping their fists and cheering. They're as happy as the rest of us to put junior high behind and start out fresh.

"Jessica Rose Stanley," the principal calls next.

Jess shoots me one more smile before she adjusts her own dress and walks across the stage. The crowd cheers as she receives her certificate and takes a seat with the other recent graduates. Butterflies release like a hurricane in my stomach when I realize I'm next. I give my dress one last adjustment and smooth my hair, praying that I won't fall flat on my face.

"Isabella Marie Swan."

It's a deep breath and then there's nothing left to do but walk. The crowd cheers and I smile so big I think my face might split in half as I take my certificate from Principal Weaver and shake his hand. My flip flops smack against the auditorium stage and Emmett lands a high five when I join him and the rest of the graduates in our class. It all happens so fast, I barely have time to take it all in before the rest of the names are called and we're released into the warm early summer night air.

Jess, Lauren, and Rosalie envelop me in a group hug and then Emmett is lifting us all up off the ground and into his arms. We fall into giggles and swear we're going to go blind as our parents snap picture after picture of us even though we secretly love it. We love that this night is all about us. We love that we're moving up and on in our lives. We're full of happiness and excitement and good wishes for what's to come when we start high school next year.

The boys keep fooling around while we girls giggle. I shake my head as Emmett pulls Mike into a headlock and catch a glimpse of Edward when I look away. He stands away from everyone else, looking stoic while someone takes a picture of him with Esme. She smiles, beaming as she puts her arm around him and the stranger snaps the picture. Esme rushes forward and takes the camera thanking them while Edward just stands in the same spot by himself. Esme walks back to him and says something. He nods and they turn to walk to their car.

Just before they walk away Edward hesitates and looks back to see me staring at him. I want to look away, but can't bring myself to do it. He lifts his hand in a half-hearted wave and I return the gesture.

There's so much I want to say to him in that moment. I want to tell him that I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for that stupid fight in third grade that ruined everything with us. I'm sorry that we spent so much time trying to make each other miserable in elementary school. I'm that his father is a total dickhead who couldn't even be bothered to show today. I'm sorry that I gave up my angel mother and Esme lost the only daughter she'd ever had in her life. I'm sorry I didn't get out of the car with him the night of that stupid dance.

I'm sorry for things that I shouldn't even be sorry for.

I try to convey with just a look that he should come over to our group. It's not too late and I know that the boys miss their friend. Lord knows I'd welcome him back with open arms if he'd let me. There's sadness in his eyes I can see even from all the way across the parking lot. He's changed and I want to bring him back to the happy little boy with the big smile and messy hair who was my best friend in the entire world. I've spent the entire day excited for the prospects the future holds and now all I want is to crawl back into the past.

_I dare you, Cullen_, I say with my eyes.

He chuckles to himself as Esme calls for him to come join her at the car. He gives me one last nod of his head and then he's walking away from me and everyone else.

He doesn't even look back this time.


	3. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

Chapter Two – Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

"_But even still I can't say much because I know we're all the same.  
We all seek out to satisfy those thrills… No I can't slow down.  
I can't hold back, though you know I wish I could.  
No there ain't no rest for the wicked, until we close our eyes for good."  
_– Ain't No Rest for the Wicked, Cage The Elephant

**BPOV**

_Present Day, September 2007_

I wake up to a text from my mother wishing me well on my first day of high school. A few weeks ago, I would have just ignored her completely, but I decide to swallow my pride today.

It's been two months since she and my father announced they were getting divorced. I didn't take it well. I spent three days at Alice's house, refusing to talk to either of them. Rose came over too and tried to assure me that everything would be fine. Her parents divorced when she was really young and she spent almost the entire night trying to convince me that there were advantages to having divorced parents. I know she was trying to help, but all I could see was my mother betraying my father for someone else and my family falling apart right in front of my face.

Things have smoothed over since then, but they kind of had to. It's hard to be openly spiteful toward your mother when she moves to Arizona.

I refused to return to my house until she was all moved out and then didn't speak to her for almost a month despite her desperate nightly phone calls. Dad was content to let me process everything in my own way on my own time, which of course pissed Mom off to no end. But as far as he was concerned they weren't a team anymore and I was his priority, not her.

Then last month Mom decided to fly out for a week and more or less force herself back into my life. It took some getting used to and a lot of tears and trips to Ben & Jerry's, but things have become easier since then. While the rest of my friends were hanging out at the beach and having a carefree end of summer, I was in a hotel with my mother, working to repair a relationship that, at the time, I had no interest in whatsoever.

I shoot Mom a quick thank you and I love you before tossing my phone back on the nightstand and groaning.

I'm not much of a morning person.

I rush through my morning routine, picking out a flowy skirt and blouse that look first day appropriate. I shower, brush my teeth, and comb my hair into something resembling order before I make my way downstairs for breakfast with Charlie. Dad isn't much of a cook, but if there's one meal he can handle like a champion, it's breakfast. I can already smell French toast and bacon as I come down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning, Bells," Dad says from his place at the stove.

"Good morning," I say grabbing for a glass of orange juice.

Dad comes over and slaps two slices of French toast and more bacon than I could ever eat down on my plate. After he fixes his own, he takes the seat across from me at the table and we dig in. He asks me if I'm nervous and does his best to assure me that high school will be a great experience.

I have to hand it to him, it was hard for Dad to take on both parental rolls after Mom left, but he's being doing great. He cut back on his hours at the station and tries his best to make sure we spend at least one afternoon together every weekend. I've seen him more in the last two months than I think I did in the first thirteen years of my life. It's been really good for us, too. Whereas my relationship with my mother took work to rebuild after the divorce, my relationship with Charlie has only grown stronger.

"Have you given anymore thought about what you might like for your birthday this year?" he asks between bites of scrambled egg.

"I already told you that I don't need anything special. I'm turning fourteen; it's not that big a deal."

"The year doesn't matter. It's my little girl's birthday and it's going to be a good one," he says.

That's Charlie for you. It's not like he was absent for the first half of my life or anything, but he's been more involved since everything went down with Mom. My birthday is Saturday and he seems determined to make it the best birthday I've ever had.

"Fine, how about I get back to you on it? If we don't head out soon, I'm going to be late."

Dad nods and finishes his breakfast while I triple check my backpack to make sure I have everything I need. New folders, binders, pens, pencils, highlighters, pictures for my locker, check. Once everything seems to be in order, Dad meets me in the front hallway and we head out to the cruiser and Forks High.

There are kids spread out all over the courtyard when we pull into the crowded parking lot. They all seem so much older than me and I feel a rock plant itself in the pit of my stomach. I'm finally nervous, which I know is ridiculous. These are all the same kids I've known my entire life, they're just older. It's not a big deal and I can totally handle this. It's just high school. It's just freshman year. Simple as that.

Yeah, right.

I spot Alice across the lot under a tree jumping up and down in her plaid skirt to get my attention. I wave at her and she smiles, adjusting her backpack on her shoulders. I give Charlie a kiss on the cheek and he shouts for me to have a good day as I leave the cruiser behind and head toward my best friend in the entire world.

"You have no idea how happy I am that we're finally in the same school again," Alice says when I reach her.

"You can't be happier than I am. I've missed seeing your face every school day," I laugh.

We laugh and catch up, even though we've just seen each other yesterday. I went over to her house and helped her pick out her first day outfit. Since she's a sophomore, Alice says she's needs to look more sophisticated this year. She's moving up on the social food chain and needs to look the part. At least that's what she tells me.

Rose finds us a few minutes later, Emmett trailing along behind her. She gives me a huge hug and tells me all about the adventures we're going to have in the next four years. She spouts off words like prom and senior ball and a whole bunch of other activities that are so far in the future, I don't pay them any mind.

Today is about one thing and one thing only, survival.

It's our first day and I've come ready and knowledgeable about the freshman year horror stories. Alice swears up and down that they're just that, stories. She says there's no terrifying senior that will shove anyone into a locker or tape a "kick me" sign to anyone's back. She claims the only things I have to worry about are the bitchy upperclassmen girls.

I think I'm going to stay on my toes, just in case.

Before long, our whole group has assembled together on the lawn, including Alice's new boyfriend, Jasper. They met at the beach this summer and have been attached at the hip ever since. I can still remember Alice going on about how they were just friends. That all change the day that Jess and I caught them kissing behind the changing rooms. Now there's no denying they're a couple. Jasper is kind of quiet, but the way he looks at her speaks loud enough for him.

I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of jealous. I want a guy to look at me like that someday.

We're all laughing and having a good time when Jasper lets out a sigh, "If it isn't my brother and the Cullen kid."

I look where Jasper is looking and see Peter Whitlock standing near the entrance of the school. He looks just like his older brother; same blonde hair, same bright blue eyes. The only difference is that Jasper is taller and more muscular. Still, you can tell they're related just by looking at them.

Next to Peter stands Edward and, my god, I can barely recognize him.

It's hard to believe he's only a freshman like the rest of us. He looks older. He's completely filled out and must be even taller than Emmett now. He's all long limbs and muscles. The only remnant of the Edward I used to know is the messy bronze hair on his head. It isn't just his physical appearance that's making him look older, though. There's something in his eyes. Some hardness that was never present before. Standing in a tight white t-shirt and black jeans, he just looks like trouble.

"Wonder where their best friend, Jake is," Emmett snarls. Rose grabs his hand and rubs her fingers lightly over his knuckles. Emmett's friends and Edward's group got into a fight downtown this summer. I found out from my dad that things got physical before a shop-owner resorted to calling the police. Emmett won't say what it was about and of course none of us talk to Edward anymore, but whatever it was, it was the last nail in the coffin that was their friendship.

Edward laughs so hard at something Peter says that he bends over and holds his stomach. When he comes back up for air, his eyes meet mine. He smirks and winks at me, sending nervous shivers down my spine. I watch as he laughs again, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag just as the bell rings. Edward curses and stubs out the smoke, then disappears into the school and out of sight.

"What was that about?" Rose asks.

"I can kick his ass, Bella," Emmett offers a little too eagerly.

"I don't know what it was, Rose, and I don't really care. Don't worry about him, Emmett. He's not worth the energy," I say.

I'm surprised to find that I mean it.

What's Edward Cullen to me anymore? We aren't friends and haven't been for quite some time. Last year I thought that maybe that could change, but now I'm just tired of wishing for things that will never happen. It was a lot easier than I thought to let go of Edward after eighth grade graduation. Once everything went down with my parents, I didn't even have time to think about the friend that I'd lost so many years ago and then lost again.

Maybe Rose was right and there was a silver lining to my parent's divorce after all.

We say our goodbyes and separate, heading inside. Emmett and I have homeroom together and we manage to find the classroom without too much effort. The whole school's a lot bigger than Forks Middle and I know I would be intimidated if I didn't have him by my side. After he and Rose started dating, we became close really fast. I think back to when we were little and my mom used to say he was just a big teddy bear. Turns out, she was right.

He heads in ahead of me and I slam into his back when he stops dead still in the doorway.

"What the hell, Emmett?" I ask.

He balls his hands into fists and his breathing gets heavier. I peek around his arm and see Edward and Jacob sitting next to each other in the back of the classroom, laughing and hitting each other. So that's what's got Emmett all worked up. I sigh and shake my head, wondering why boys have to make everything so difficult.

When Lauren spread that nasty rumor about Rosalie and Emmett having sex at the beach this summer, we obviously stopped talking to her. It's no secret that we don't like her and she hangs out with a completely different crowd now, but we can manage to be in the same room together without wanting to start an all out war.

I sigh and square my shoulders. "Emmett, come on. Think of Rose. She wouldn't want you to start anything. Let's just go in and sit as far from them as possible. I won't let you do something you'll regret, you hear me?"

Emmett snaps his gaze away from the troublemakers and down to me. He literally has to look down at me; I'm so much shorter than him. The sight of me with my hands on my hips and my head cocked to the side must be too much for him because he bursts into laughter.

"Oh, Bella, what would I do without you, kid?" he says taking my arm and pulling me into the classroom. We take two empty seats at the front, far away from Edward and company, just like I promised.

"I don't know why you feel the need to call me kid all the time. We're the same age, Em," I tell for the millionth time.

"No we're not. I'm older than you,"

"By a month, Emmett! A month!" I play-shout at him, punching him in the arm. The whole thing just sets him off into another fit of laughter. Pretty soon I'm laughing too and neither one of us sees when Edward slinks his way over to our seats.

"Well if it isn't Emmett and brown eyes," he says. Emmett stops laughing immediately and I can feel my skin prickling at the tension between the two of them.

"Beat it, Cullen. And leave Bella alone before I have to beat the shit out of you," Emmett snarls.

"Don't get so defensive, Em. I thought you were dating Rosalie anyway. I heard all about your little escapade at the beach this summer," he smirks. Emmett gets all defensive and I can't decide who I hate more in that moment, Lauren for starting the stupid rumor in the first place or Edward for bringing it up again.

Just when things are about to get ugly, the teacher comes in bringing the sound of the final bell with her and tells everyone to take their seats. Emmett shoots one last glare at Edward who winks at me again as he returns to his spot in the back of the classroom.

The next half hour feels like it takes years. I try my hardest to pay attention as Mrs. Connelly goes over the rules the procedures and shows us how our schedules work, but I can't get past the anger radiating from Emmett and the smug attitude bouncing off Edward. I'm also finding it hard to ignore the way he keeps staring at me from the back of the room. Granted, I don't actually turn around to confirm that he's looking at me, but I can definitely feel someone's eyes and I doubt they belong to anyone else.

By the time the bell rings, I'm so exhausted I can't see how I'll possibly make it through the rest of the day.

I part ways with Emmett after making him promise to behave himself and head off to French, which luckily I have with Rosalie. I have a little trouble finding the room, so I make in just as the bell rings. She can see I'm upset and shoots me a questioning look as I take the seat next to her, but I just shake my head. Once the teacher has gone over introductions and the course syllabus, it isn't long before a note finds its way from Rose's desk to mine.

She wants to know what's wrong so of course I tell her all about Edward and Emmett's pissing contest. For some reason, I don't tell her about Edward calling me brown eyes again. I also don't mention the second wink he tossed my way. And I pretend that I don't care why he decided I was worth talking to again even though it's been eating at me since I left Mrs. Connelly's room. Rose reads my reply and shakes her head mouthing "boys" at me before crumpling up the note and sticking it in her purse.

Luckily, the rest of the day passes without as much excitement as the beginning.

Our group has lunch together, which is some kind of blessing because for being in the same school as Alice again, I've barely seen her all day. We sit down to eat barely edible cafeteria food and she makes us recount our days thus far to her while the boys laugh and joke around. I hate to tell her she's right, but I admit that I haven't had a single problem with any upperclassmen all day. In fact, the ones I've come in contact with so far have been really helpful. Alice is nice about the whole thing and doesn't say I told you so, even though I know she wants to.

After lunch I head off to my last classes of the day, Biology and English.

I have Biology with Jess and English with Tyler. Jess and I do our best to pay attention in Bio, but it's mostly boring introduction stuff, so we spend most of the block doodling in our notebooks and passing notes back and forth, trying not to giggle too loudly. Tyler meets up with me in the hall right after and we head off to English together. It's the last class of the day and I'm ready to just head home. I know Mom is expecting a phone call from me tonight telling her all about my first day. One of our divorce deals is that I have to call her at least one night a week.

Tyler and I walk into the classroom and I can almost immediately feel the weight of someone's eyes on me. I look off to the side and see Edward sitting by himself in the back corner of the room. He's not doing much to hide the fact that he's staring at me. It's almost like he wants to be confronted about it.

"Jesus, him again," Tyler mutters. "Don't worry, Bella. I won't let that jerk-off bother you."

We look for seats, but the only ones available are the one directly in front of and next to Edward.

Great.

"Thanks, Tyler. I'll take the seat next to him. I know how much he bothers you."

Tyler hesitates, but when it comes down to it, he really doesn't want to be anywhere near Edward so he agrees after reminding me, once again, that he'll beat him down if he so much as looks at me wrong. I'm not entirely sure when I acquired so many knights in shining armor, but it's getting to be slightly annoying. I can take care of myself. I've been handling Edward since we were five years old and I used to know him better than anyone else. I'd like to think that still counts for something.

I take the seat next to Edward, setting down my books, and I swear I can feel the smile as it spreads across his face. Everyone is carrying on conversations around us, Tyler included, when Mr. Horner, our teacher, walks in. Everyone falls silent as he goes over class policies and passes out the millionth class syllabus I've received today. I'm looking over the required reading list when a piece of ripped up notebook paper lands on my desk.

I almost ignore it. I should ignore it. Nothing good is going to come of looking at the stupid note that was just tossed to me.

So of course I open it anyway.

_I'm watching you, brown eyes._

I roll my eyes and look next to me. Edward is grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I make a show of crumpling up the note and tossing it on the floor behind me. It doesn't have the desired effect. He just snickers and scribbles on another piece of paper, tossing that one on my desk too. I sigh and open the second note.

_You aren't getting rid of me that easily. _

This time I glare at him, hoping it will do a better job of getting him to leave me alone. I crumple up the second note and stick it in the front of my notebook. I don't know why I don't just throw it on the floor with the other one, but something tells me that maybe I should hold on to it for a while.

Edward doesn't give up. He doesn't pass another note, but instead slides to the very edge of his seat and kicks at my feet with his long legs.

I give up. I don't understand why he's suddenly so interested in me again. We haven't talked in almost a year, so what gives? I want to ask him what exactly his problem is. I want to demand answers, but this is neither the time nor place for that. So instead I do the best I can to just ignore him. When he keeps up his little game of footsies, I just make sure to get it across loud and clear that I'm not having it. I glare, I sigh, and I grumble "stop it" under my breath.

He doesn't.

The whole block passes with Edward trying to come up with new ways to get under my skin and every single one of them works. Then when the bell rings, he just bolts. No words, no explanation, nothing. I'm left more annoyed and confused than I think I've ever been. I might even prefer the Edward who told everyone I was in love with Eric Yorkie in fifth grade over this asshole. At least that Edward made sense. We hated each other. He made it his life's mission to make my life miserable. That I could work with. This I can't.

~ 0 o 0 ~

The rest of the week flies by.

There aren't any more confrontations between Edward and our group. He doesn't even try to annoy the hell out of me in English. I'm glad that he only tormented me on the first day, but at the same time I'm frustrated as hell. He's back to pretending I don't exist and I just don't understand. Why even bother with notes and annoying gestures, if he was just going to ignore me again?

I tell myself he was just doing it to screw with Emmett and Tyler and he gave up when he realized it wasn't working. It's the only answer that makes some amount of sense.

It doesn't matter anyway. It's Friday and soon enough the week will be within my grasp. I finally told Dad that he could take me out to dinner for my birthday if he was so insistent on doing something. He seemed disappointed, but agreed. We're driving to Port Angeles on Sunday night for dinner at La Bella Italia, the new Italian place downtown. I'm actually pretty excited. I received a package in the mail from Mom and her new husband, Phil, but I was given strict instructions to not open it until my birthday tomorrow.

I'm walking with Rosalie to lunch and the only thing on my mind is what this weekend has in store. I've officially survived my first week of high school and I'm on top of the world. We make throw together some salads from the salad bar and take a seat at our table, waiting for everyone else to make their way in.

"You're going to love me!" Alice shouts, dropping her purse on the lunch table ten minutes later.

"Why?" I ask behind a mouthful of lettuce.

"Chew, Bella," she chastises. "Anyway, you my dear are going to love me because tomorrow night, on your fourteenth birthday, you are going to your first high school party!"

Rosalie and Jess immediately light up and start gushing about what a great time we're going to have. Even the boys seem pretty excited. I, on the other hand, am not convinced.

"Where is it?" I ask.

"First Beach," Jasper supplies having shown up right behind Alice.

"Isn't the beach closed for the season? It sounds kind of illegal."

"Alright, Miss Police Chief's Daughter, are you done being a buzz kill now? The party is at The Cove, which technically is open year round since it's not part of the reservation," Alice tells me. I still must not look excited enough because she adds, "Come on, Bella. It's going to be so fun and it's on your birthday and it's just perfect. You _have _to go!"

"Yeah, Bella. We aren't going to go if you don't," Rose tells me. Jess nods eagerly even though I can see on her face that she's going whether I decide to or not.

I was raised not to give in to peer pressure, but I can't take the pleading in Rosalie's eyes a second longer. Who knows? Maybe it'll be as fun as Alice tells me. I agree and she squeals as she hugs me.

"What am I supposed to tell Charlie?" I ask.

"Tell him you're spending the night at my house. Your dinner's not until Sunday night, right? It's perfect," Alice says nonchalantly.

Surprisingly when I feed Dad the total BS about staying at Alice's later, he buys it. I guess being a goody two shoes has its perks. Nobody ever suspects anything when I tell them what I'm doing. They just automatically accept that I must be going where I say I am, with whoever I say I am. Dad even tells me it's a good idea since he'll be out on call late and doesn't want me to have to spend my birthday night alone. I almost can't believe how easy the whole thing is.

Saturday morning, I wake up to a breakfast spread that could rival the one we had on my first day of school. Dad really went all out, even going so far as to put a candle in my French toast for me to blow out. I laugh and play along and we make easy conversation about school and my friends while we eat. When we're finished Dad hands me the box that came in the mail. The box that holds my birthday present. He tells me that the gift is actually from him and Mom and I make a show of shaking it before tearing off the purple wrapping paper.

Inside the box is a silver necklace with a small charm of an angel wing.

It's so simple and understated and perfect for me that I can't stop myself from jumping out of my chair to hug my dad. He laughs and kisses the top of my head telling me how glad he is that I like it and to be sure and call Mom to thank her and Phil, too.

We spend the rest of the day lazily watching TV until Dad has to leave for the station at six. He tells me that he'll drop me off at Alice's on the way and I make a big show out of packing my overnight back with movies and games to "keep us entertained." Dad buys the whole thing with a smile and I almost feel bad for lying to him.

Almost because, to be honest, I'm starting to get excited about the whole thing.

At first the idea of a party with a bunch of my peers on a cold and deserted beach didn't sound appealing. But the more I've thought about it in the last twenty-four hours, the more I've decided that this is one of those high school experiences every person should have at least once. And I'm lucky enough to go to my first party on my birthday.

Dad leaves me off at Alice's and she tells him all about our plans for a girl's night, right down the nail polish we won't be painting on each other's toes. Dad's good about the whole thing and tries to listen and be as enthralled by the whole thing as he thinks Mom would be if she were here. It's almost cute.

The second he pulls out of the driveway, Alice drags me inside and up to her room where we get ready with Rose and Jessica.

Alice turns her stereo up so loud that Mrs. Brandon has to yell at her to turn it down. We're a mess of makeup and clothes and perfume and we're having the time of our lives spinning around Alice's room trying to get pumped up for the party. I let Alice stuff me into a tiny jean skirt and tank top and tease and curl my hair until it's her definition of perfect. Rose does everyone's makeup and Jess paints nails like a professional. Before long we're primped and perfect and totally ready.

Jasper shows up in his friend Garrett's truck with Emmett, Tyler, and Mike already stuffed in the back and we're on our way.

The beach is cold, but several bonfires have been set, each one surrounded by dozens of kids from Forks High and even some from the local La Push school system. A truck sits at the edge of the beach, the bed filled with coolers and the doors open to let the music pour out of the costly speaker system.

We stumble our way across the sand, laughing as our shoes fill up with the grainy dirt. When we reach the first bonfire, Alice shouts, "It's my girl Bella's birthday tonight!"

People I don't even know raise red solo cups and cans and cheer for me. The whole thing is such a rush that I can't stop laughing. Garrett comes over with a beer and hands it to me, saying that the drinks are on him tonight as my birthday gift and to come find him when I'm ready for a refill. It's clear that he's the coordinator of tonight's event. I eye the beer for a second before throwing caution to the wind and tossing back my first sip. Alice cheers and sends Jasper off to get drinks for everyone else.

After a few drinks, we dance around the fire listening to Mims tells us all the reasons why he's hot while the boy's try and fail to perfect their Soulja Boy. People keep telling me happy birthday when they pass by me and I know it's only because of Alice, but I can't bring myself to care. I'm feely positively bubbly after my fourth drink.

Alice did make sure to tell us that if we were going to be drinking, we had to use the buddy system. I'm Jessica's designated buddy and Rose is Alice's. So when Jess announces that she has to pee two hours into the party, I have to follow her to the bathrooms at the edge of the beach. She heads into the stalls and I wait for her sipping on my fifth drink by the edge of the woods.

"Well look who it is."

I almost spill my drink I turn around so fast. Edward stands on the outskirts of the woods, sipping whiskey from a bottle and eyeing me.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"Whoa there, calm down, brown eyes. I'm calling a truce tonight since it's your birthday and all," he laughs.

"How did you know that?"

"Please, Bella. We were best friends for years. I know when your birthday is," he snorts. "Charlie let you come out tonight?"

"He doesn't exactly know I'm here. He thinks I'm staying at Alice's," I confess. I have no idea why I'm telling him this. I shake my head and start to walk away.

"Wait!" he calls out. I turn around and give him a look that lets him know he has my attention for two seconds before I'm gone. "The little Bella I remember wouldn't have lied to Charlie like that."

"Well, I guess I'm not the little Bella you remember anymore then," I shrug. "I need to get going."

"Would you like to prove that?" he shouts after me.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, you're at a party with a beer in your hand and you lied to your father. Why not take a walk a little further on the wild side?"

I stop and take a good look at him, trying to see if he's bluffing, but his eyes hold a challenge and the ball's in my court. He's standing in dark jeans and black shirt with a cocky smile. For some reason I have to fight the urge to smack the look off his stupid face. His hair is in an extra state of disarray and he holds the bottle of whiskey loosely in his hand. For the first time since I've met him, Edward Cullen looks dangerous, like he could chew me up and spit me out in seconds. There's not a single trace of the boy I knew in his clouded green eyes.

He looks as dangerous as they come, but I'm not afraid.

I square my shoulders and take a step closer, motioning for him to lead the way. He takes another swig from his bottle and smiles, turning around and heading into the woods.

Twigs and leaves crunch under our feet and branches scratch against my arm. Patches of moonlight snake in between the leaves and their branches, but it's otherwise dark the further into the woods we go. I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. I should be a nervous wreck, but a weird sense of calm rests over me as I follow behind Edward's sure footed steps. We might be far from friends these days, but I still trust him not to let anything happen to me. It's strange and totally wrong, but I know he'll keep me safe. I just do.

We come to a clearing in the woods where a smaller fire is set up surrounded by logs. Jacob sits on the farthest log from us with some leggy red-head I've never seen before. He has a joint pressed between his fingers and passes it back and forth with her, laughing softly as some inside joke every now and then. Peter sits across from them, lit like a Christmas tree with a bottle of whiskey in his hand similar to Edward's. He's so far gone, I wonder if he even knows that his brother is on the same beach as him tonight. A blonde I recognize as Tanya sits on the last log by herself, looking bored. She hears us step out into the clearing and her face lights up at the sight of Edward.

"Baby, you're back," she smiles walking over to us. "And you brought a friend," she deadpans when she notices me.

"Sure did," Edward says simply in lieu of an actual explanation as to why I'm with him. Tanya looks upset when he doesn't say anything else and eyes me when she thinks he's not paying attention. I'm a little upset myself. I could use an explanation of my part in all this as bad as she can.

"Well, why don't you come sit down with me," she says suggestively. She runs her hand up and down her arm, looking at me the entire time, like a dog marking her territory. The whole thing is pretty pathetic and for a second I feel bad for her. It's obvious that Edward could care less whether she's here or not, but she refuses to accept it. She'd rather try like hell and have him ignore her than not be here at all.

"Not now, Tanya. Why don't you and Victoria go check out the party?"

Tanya is about to object when the red-head, who I assume is Victoria stands and whines about Jacob being too high to be any more fun. She grabs Tanya by the arm without another word and they go back the way Edward and I came in. I watch them go and bite my lip, wondering if this isn't such a good idea after all. My bravery buzz is wearing off and I'm not so sure about being here anymore.

"She won't tell anyone. She knows I'd kill her if she did," Edward says absently. "Come on, let's sit down. The boys are too stoned to even realize you're here."

I hesitate, but follow Edward over to the log Tanya vacated just moments ago. I take a seat next to him and he hands me the bottle of whiskey as an offering. I grab the bottle and take a huge gulp, only wincing a little bit as a warm burn trickles down my throat. Edward chuckles and leans back against a tree.

I don't know how long we sit in silence, listening to the crackle and pop of the fire. The flames dance before us, orange and yellow, yellow and orange. Jake takes off after a while, I assume to find Victoria and Peter falls asleep before long. Then it's just me and Edward and the woods. The fire burns on and an owl hoots somewhere in the distance. It's funny, but for someone I'm not even friends with, I feel comfortable in the silence that surrounds me and Edward. For whatever reason, we don't need words and that's fine by me. It makes everything easier.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye every now and then, trying to find some glimpse of the Edward I used to know.

He's still the same boy on the outside. Same hair, same face, same everything. It's the look in his eyes that sets this Edward apart from the younger version of himself. How can someone age so much in less than a year? The hardness in his eyes leads me to believe that he's seen things no fourteen year old boy should. Maybe that's what makes him seem so much older than the rest of us despite the fact it's not true. Maybe he's seen things, heard things, felt things that are so far beyond the rest of us we could never begin to really understand them.

"I heard about your parents," he says after a while.

"Yeah," is all I can manage.

"I'm sorry, it must really suck. Sometimes I think my parents should just bite the bullet and get a divorce, but I can still imagine it must hurt."

"You get used to it," I shrug. He just nods and takes another swig of his whiskey. Then he passes off the bottle to me and I take another gulp of my own. I notice his eyes are beginning to clear and decide to bite a bullet of my own. "Why do you do it?" I ask.

He sits in silence for a few minutes. I know he knows what I'm getting at without an explanation, so I just give him time to put together his answer. This is the big question, after all. Why did he drop everything and veer off the path his life could have taken in favor of this?

"It makes it easier," he says simply. "You don't realize how much your life actually sucks when you're jacked up all the time. Or at the very least, you don't care."

"Your life doesn't suck, Edward."

He snorts. "You don't know the half of it, Bella."

I want to ask him what he means. I know that Carlisle and Esme fight and I know that must be hard. My parents got divorced and I didn't even have a clue they had problems until after the papers had been signed. I can't imagine what it would have been like to listen to them day in and day out like Edward must listen to his. But still, he had everything. He had friends and his sports and some pretty kick ass grades. I can't imagine what could be so bad to give all that up.

I don't get the chance to find out.

Sirens sound from down the beach and everything lights up blue and red. Kids are screaming and tires are peeling out of the parking lot. The party's over.

"Shit," Edward groans, throwing down his bottle. "Bella, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay? There's a pretty good chance that car belongs to your father. I need to get Pete up and going, so I need you to get out of here. Hide down in the dunes until the whole thing blows over and then find Alice and head home, okay?"

I nod, too nervous to do much else.

"Promise me, Bella. It's important," he insists.

"I promise."

"Okay, now get out of here. And please don't get caught, Bella. I need you to be alright."

I take off out of the woods, trying to remember the way we came in. I only get turned around once before I break out of the tree line and into the night air. I can see the police car coming closer to the beach so I run down to the dunes, pulling off my shoes when I start to trip. Kids are scattering every which way, some trying to hide, others just trying to make a run for it. Beer cans and empty cups are scattered across the beach and Garrett and his big truck are nowhere to be found. I try to keep an eye out for Alice or Rose or anyone, but I don't recognize anyone I run past. I'm just settling down behind the sand when I hear a door slam shut and the unmistakable voice of my father.

"Party's over! If anyone out there underage turns themselves in now, there will be less trouble down the road."

A flashlight shines out over the beach, illuminating everything in an eerie yellow glow. The fires have been doused with beer and water, so the flashlight and the moon are the only thing shining in the now quiet night. I look next to me where another freshman girl crouches behind a large sand dune. She puts her lips to her mouth and motions to be quiet as the footsteps and light come closer. I'm barely breathing, knowing that I'm about to be caught drunk at a party I'm not even supposed to be at by my own father. I'm so dead. I'm so so beyond dead.

The girl next to me cringes as Charlie steps on a beer can and it crunches under his weight. He's coming closer and I can feel my heart about to pound out of my chest.

Maybe I can come up with some excuse. Maybe I can beg and grovel and cry. Maybe if I put on a really good show, Charlie won't ground me for life and I can make it to see fifteen.

"I know you're out there!" Charlie calls in full-on cop mode. He doesn't sound like my dear old dad right now, he sounds like a pissed off cop who just stumbled on the underage beer fest of the century.

His flashlight shines right over the top of the dune I'm hidden behind and I know I'm toast. I close my eyes and fight back tears. It'll be embarrassing enough getting busted by my own dad without adding water works into the mix. If he's taking me down, maybe I can at least go down with dignity. Maybe he'll cut me a break because it's my birthday. No, there's no chance. I'm screwed. I'm completely done for and I curse Alice and her bright idea of coming out tonight. We would have been better off at her house playing Jenga and watching Pretty in Pink for the thirty-seven millionth time.

Dad's about to step around my hiding spot and find his little girl intoxicated when a sound from the woods catches both of us off guard.

Charlie turns around and shines his flashlight in the direction of the forest, landing on a buzzed and slightly stoned Edward.

Every cell in my body wants to scream and ask him what the hell he's doing. I want to tell him to for him to make a run for it. I want to jump out from behind this stupid dune and shock my father so bad that he forgets all about Edward and he makes a clean get away. Instead I stand frozen, not sure what to do, but feeling agitated and terrified for Edward.

"Edward Cullen, is that you?" Charlie calls out to him.

"How ya doin', Chief?"

I can see the conflicted look on Charlie's face. He wants the kid standing in front of him to be anyone else, anyone other than his daughter's first best friend. I can see the look in his eyes and I know he's seeing what I was searching for all night. He's seeing a five year old Edward on his couch watching movies and in his kitchen making snacks with his daughter. He's seeing the little boy he used to know and, just like me, he's struggling to pair him up to the troublemaker standing before him.

"Come with me, Edward," he says finally. Edward nods, not scared one bit, and follows Dad toward the cruiser. "I always expected better out of you, kid."

"Bella was always the good one," Edward says back.

It's then that I know. _I know_ Edward did it for me. He knew I was all but caught and he took the fall.

_I need you to be alright. _

Edward was having my back, even after all these years. He was making sure I was taken care of and in the clear. But, why?

The cruiser pulls away and whoever's left of the party make their way from their hiding spots. The girl next to me looks at me curiously. She must have heard Edward too, but I don't have the time or energy to try and explain to a stranger what I can't even explain to myself. I don't doubt that Charlie will go as easy as he can on Edward and I'm sure Edward knows it. But he still shouldn't have been the single person to take the fault for the whole party.

"Bella!? Jesus Christ, where have you been?" Alice shouts.

I dust off my skirt and grab my shoes. "I'm sorry, I got distracted," I lie.

"The whole point of the buddy system is to use it, Isabella Swan. Your father could have just owned your ass! Let's get you back to my house before you decide to do anything else stupid tonight."

She grabs my hand and pulls me across the beach to where Jasper has pulled the Jeep around. Jess and Rose jump out when they see me and hug me, telling me over and over how worried they were about me. Tyler and Mike seem to shell shocked to say much and Emmett gives me the same speech Alice did, ever the over-protective big brother.

None of them seem to realize that I'm barely paying them any attention. My thoughts are with the boy in the back of a police cruiser that's probably halfway to his house or the station by now. My thoughts are with the boy who put his ass on the line to save mine.

The boy who, when he chanced a glace my way with clear green eyes before following my father to the cruiser, looked just a little bit like my best friend.

* * *

**Hey everyone!**

**Thanks for all the positive feedback on this new adventure so far! I'm really excited about this story and I hope you'll enjoy going on this ride with me. My updating schedule for Bent is Sunday nights around 8 o'clock. Keep the reviews coming and thanks again for the support! **

**See you all next week! **


	4. Twisted Logic

Chapter Three – Twisted Logic

"_You'll go backwards, but then you'll go forwards again.  
You'll go backwards, but then you'll go forwards."  
_– Twisted Logic, Coldplay

**BPOV**

_Present Day, September 2007_

All anyone can talk about at school on Monday is Edward.

Some people think he's crazy for doing what he did. Some people think it was brave and makes him a total badass. Most people think it was just plain stupid. Nobody knows why he did it or what Crazy Cullen was trying to prove when he gave himself up to the chief of police. None of them will ever know that he did it to save me.

Regardless of what people are speculating, the whole thing has raised Edward up into infamy. The crowd of girls that used to follow him around has now become an army and the guys either idolize him or hate him even more than they did before. You can guess which side of the spectrum Emmett and my friends fall on. He's been getting high fives and nods in the halls all morning. He's officially become Forks High's resident bad boy. Not bad for only being a freshman in his second week here.

The stories of what happened after Dad drove away with him are even wilder than the reasons he may or may not have done it.

Some say he spent the rest of the weekend in jail and was only just released this morning. Some claim that his parents are threatening to send him to rehab. The even less trustworthy tell everyone that he and Dad got into a huge fight and Edward threatened to kill him if he didn't let him go.

It's all crap. I got the truth out of Charlie at dinner last night.

I played it off like I heard it through the grapevine that he'd crashed a party down at the beach the night before. I glossed over details and embellished to the point that it was impossible for him to even suspect that I'd been there. I played him like a piano and lied to him for the second time in my life.

"So what happened?" I asked him.

What happened was Dad took Edward home. No cuffs, no jail time, no rehab, and certainly no death threats.

When it came down to it, Dad couldn't let his once pseudo-son take the fall for an entire beach full of underage drinkers. So he drove Edward out to the Cullen's house, knocked on the door, explained to Esme and Carlisle what had happened, and let Edward go with a warning. Most kids would be thanking their lucky stars. Most kids would think of my dad as some kind of savior. But Edward isn't most kids and he probably would have rather the jail time rumor be true than have Charlie bring him home that night.

Because when I catch my first glimpse of Edward in the hall that morning, my eyes immediately go to the bruise on his left arm.

"If Cullen's arm looks like that, imagine what Bella's dad must look like," Eric Yorkie whispers to one of his Chess Club friends by his locker.

Well, at least I know what sparked the death threat rumor.

I've always been proud of my father. Forks PD may be small time, but Dad has always taken pride in his job and watching how happy it makes him has always made me happy. I've never let it bother me that I'm the daughter of the chief of police. That was until I got tossed into the rumor mill along with Edward and Charlie. I guess when your former best friend gets picked up by your father for underage drinking and who knows what else at the same party you were at and got away with, that'll happen.

I've stared at and whispered about all day and I'm starting to get sick of it. Every time Edward and I are so much as in the same vicinity as each other, it's like people are just waiting for us to break out into a screaming match or something. And his little girlfriend, Tanya, has been staring daggers at me along with that red-head Jake was hooking up with Saturday night.

This isn't quite what I imagined high school would be like.

Alice tries to cheer me up at lunch. She tells me that someone will make out with someone else or get in a fist fight after school and by the end of the week the whole thing will blow over. I'm sure she's right, but the end of the week seems like forever away. I groan and lay my head in my hands on the table. I catch a glimpse of Edward on the way down and want to roll my eyes.

He's surrounded by girls, no doubt soaking up the attention and telling them all about his showdown with Charlie. The worst part is those vapid bimbos eat up every word coming out of his stupid mouth. They nod and gasp and smile like he's some damned anti-hero they're all hoping to get with. Tanya sits on his lap, rubbing his bruised arm like she has some sort of claim over him they don't. Like he didn't kick her ass to the curb when I showed up. She grips his bicep and doesn't even notice the wince that crosses his face when she comes in contact with his bruise. None of them do. They don't care about him. They just care about his reputation and being a part of it.

It shouldn't make me mad, but it does. It really does.

The bell rings and I get up and toss my tray without as much as a glance at anyone else.

I'm a horrible friend and practically ignore Jess during Bio. I know I'm being a total bitch. Emmett would probably tell me to quit PMS-ing and breathe, but I'm edgy and I don't really even understand why. I don't know if it's my confusion over why Edward did what he did in the first place, the ridiculous rumors I've heard all day, Tanya's glare, or some combination, but I'm just over the whole thing.

I don't wait for Tyler to walk to English when the bell rings. I just grab my things and bolt, so happy that it's my last class of the day, I could cry.

I'm right outside the classroom when a hand grabs my shoulder and tugs hard.

I lose my footing as I'm pulled into a dark and empty classroom only a few down the hall from my own. I start to shout when a strong hand clamps over my mouth. I'm in full-blown panic mode, trying to remember the simple self-defense Charlie taught me when I hear a familiar chuckle over my shoulder.

"Calm down, brown eyes. It's just me."

Edward's voice makes me the opposite of calm. In fact, it just riles me up even more. I jab my elbow into his stomach and he lets go of me, bending over in pain.

"What the hell was that for?" he groans.

"Scaring the shit out of me. Most normal people approach someone when they want to talk instead of pulling them into an abandoned room like some serial killer."

"Who says I want to talk? Maybe I just brought you in here to make out," he smirks, standing back up.

"Okay, I'm leaving."

I reach for the doorknob when he hand closes over mine. "Wait, I really did want to talk to you. I'm sorry. I'll stop being an ass now."

"Are you even capable of that?" I ask him.

"Scouts honor," he says holding up his fingers.

I roll my eyes. "Please, you were a Boy Scout for what, three weeks when we were seven?"

"You remember that?"

I shake my head and hop up on the large oak desk at the front of the room. The desks and chairs are all covered in white sheets and the layer of dust covering the room is proof that it hasn't been used in a while. From the posters on the wall, I can tell the room held math classes at one point. How fitting that I get pulled into a room based on logic with the least logical person I've ever met. I kick my feet back and forth, looking around the room and out the windows. I'll look anywhere as long as it's not at him.

Edward's eyes are back to their usual clouded state today. I miss the clear bright green they used to be. I miss being little and everything being simple. Hell, I even miss the days when we just completely ignored each other in middle school. At least there wasn't any confusion back then. I was Bella. He was Edward. We weren't friends, but used to be. Simple.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," he says after a while.

"I am, thanks to you." I sigh, "You didn't have to do what you did."

"I know I didn't, but I wasn't about to let you take the fall for it."

"So you had to? That's not fair to you either, you know," I challenge.

He laughs. "People kind of expect me to screw up at this point, Bella. Believe me, it was much less of a shock to the dear people of Forks for Edward Cullen to get caught at a party than it would have been for innocent little Bella Swan to get picked up by her father with a buzz."

"Don't talk about me like that," I snap.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm so much younger than you. Innocent little Bella. Please, that's total bullshit. We're the same age, Edward and I'm capable of making the same decisions you do."

That shuts him up. I sigh and continue kicking my legs. I have so many questions. Why did he ask me to come hang out with him Saturday night? Why did he start talking to me again? Why, after ignoring each other for so long, am I suddenly back on his radar?

I watch him close his eyes and cross the room to be closer to me. One, two, three steps and he hops up on the desk next to me. I make a show of turning the opposite way and looking out the window, but my curiosity gets the better of me and I turn back to face him before too long. He's looking at the back of the classroom intently, focused on a poster that says "MATH is more than a four-letter word." But I know him well enough to know that he's not really looking at it. He's just trying to think of the right thing to say.

I watch him rub his arm absent-mindedly and wince when he rubs over the yellowing bruise on his bicep. I don't have to ask him if it hurts. It's pretty obvious that it does. So I ask the next question that pops into my head and shock us both. "Did Carlisle do that?"

He winces again, but this time it's not from the pain. "Yeah," he admits.

"Are you going to tell anyone?"

"No."

"Edward—"

"It's not like he beats me, Bella," he says effectively cutting me off.

"He still shouldn't have done that to you," I insist.

"He shouldn't do a lot of the shit he does, but it isn't going to stop him. He was beyond pissed when Charlie brought me home. Went on and on about how I won't be an embarrassment to him and that I better get my shit together before he has to do it for me. He grabbed at me and screamed in my face. It really isn't that big a deal, Bella. I promise."

"That's what you meant, isn't it?" I ask. "When you said it helps make your life suck less the other night," I clarify when he looks at me quizzically.

He laughs. "That among other things."

I don't get the chance to ask him what he means. The bell rings and it's only then that I realize that I've spent the entire block with him, skipping English altogether. I know I should be upset that I missed a class already since school has only just started, but I really don't care. Edward jumps down from the desk and holds his hand out to help me do the same. We face each other for just a second before he turns away from me and walks toward the door.

"I'll leave first. You follow in a few minutes and then nobody will ever know we were here."

I can read between the lines. He doesn't just mean that nobody will know we were down the hall instead of in class where we belonged. He means nobody will know we were here _together_. I don't know if it's for my benefit or his, but it seems almost sweet that he would care to protect us like that. At the moment I could care less if the whole school walked in this classroom and saw us, but I know that later on I'll want to thank him for covering our tracks.

He puts his hand on the doorknob and hesitates. "Do me a favor, will you? I know you're capable of making the same choices as me, but promise me you won't. I'd like at least one part of my life to remain untouched by my bullshit," he says without facing me.

I want to tell him that I'm not technically a part of his life anymore, but I don't. Instead I just want to see his eyes one more time before he walks out of this room. I don't even care if they're clouded over and not the beautiful bright green I remember from my childhood. They're still his and that's all that matters to me. Clouded or not, they're better than nothing. So I say his name.

He finally turns to look at me. The moment his eyes meet mine I can think of a million things I want to say to him.

I want to tell him that I miss him, that I've missed him since the moment we got into that fight on the playground. I want to tell him that if he were to look in the shoebox under my bed he'd find the doll he gave to me for Christmas in kindergarten, the one with the brown eyes just like mine. I want to tell him that the note the tossed on my desk that first day is taped to the back of the corkboard in my room. I want to tell him that there is still one picture of us on the mantel at my house because I threw a fit when my mom tried to take it down five years ago. I want to tell him that I still think about him, probably a lot more than I should.

I want to tell him that we could start over. Erase the past and be best friends again like none of this ever even happened.

I want to tell him those things, but I don't.

Instead, I just say, "I promise."

~ 0 o 0 ~

Weeks pass and Edward seemingly returns to pretending that I don't exist.

Before I know it, the first month of school is over and then the second. Halloween rolls around when it seems like it was August and my mother was visiting just yesterday. Now it gets dark by seven and I can't go out the front door without a jacket on. There's a near constant cool breeze and all of the houses on my street are decorated with orange-yellow leaves and pumpkins. All the teachers dress in orange and black and hand out candy to us as we exit their classrooms.

Tomorrow night Kate Denali is having a Halloween party. I'm a little skeptical about going at first considering the fiasco that was the party on my birthday. People have finally stopped talking about it and moved on to other gossip. I don't want to tempt fate to start the rumor mill back up in mine and Edward's favor.

But Alice assures me that this is a house party and nothing can possibly go wrong. Kate's parents are out of town for the weekend at some conference and we'll have the house to ourselves. Us and the rest of the population of Forks High. Besides, Alice tells me, Kate is a senior and getting invited to a party like that means that we're somebodies in the eyes of the student body. I don't mention to Alice that she's the only one who was actually invited and the rest of us are just tagalongs.

So now I'm sitting in third block Bio with Jess trying to figure out what our costumes will be. She wants to go the route of a sexy fairy complete with wings, a short dress, and so much glitter you could find her in the dark without a light. I, on the other hand, am still unsure. I don't know if I have the confidence to pull off something like that. But this is high school and what costume you wear to the biggest Halloween party in town says a lot about you.

_What about a pirate?_

I look at the note Jess slips on my desk and scrunch my nose, shaking my head at her as she silently giggles.

The bell rings and class is over. I sigh, upset that I'm no closer to a costume and pack up my things. Jess and I part ways in the hall once I find Tyler waiting for me, leaning up against a row of lockers. He smiles and falls into step beside me as we make our way to English.

I try not to look at Edward as I walk in the door.

I've gotten pretty good at it, not looking at him, I mean. I guess I was stupid enough to hope that after our little game of hooky a few months ago; maybe he'd start talking to me again. I was wrong. He doesn't even wink or call me brown eyes anymore. I hate to admit that I miss it because that fact just makes me an idiot, but I do and I don't understand why everything is so backwards and forwards with him. One minute he's inviting me to drink with him at a party and the next I'm invisible.

So I ignore him right back. I make a conscious effort to not look at his messy hair and clouded green eyes. I definitely don't notice the black leather jacket and dark wash jeans he's wearing. I certainly don't see the way his face scrunches up when he concentrates on the reading assignments. I don't notice any of that.

Except that I do and I kinda hate myself for it.

Mr. Horner walks in as the bell rings and starts lecturing, so I focus on scribbling in my notebook to avoid the temptation of looking Edward's way. Halfway through class, I'm so busy doodling clouded green eyes that I barely notice the note tossed on my desk.

My hand stills against the page and my heartbeat picks up. The last person to throw a note my way in this class was the green eyed devil sitting next to me. What if it's from him? Maybe he's ready to acknowledge that I exist again.

I peek over at him, but Edward is busy taking down notes about _To Kill a Mockingbird_.

Tyler on the other hand is turned around ever so slightly in his seat smiling at me.

I unfold the paper and look at what's written there: _Can we talk after class? _

I nod at him and he turns around, satisfied. I look up at the clock. Only fifteen minutes to go.

It's a Friday, so when the bell does finally ring everyone bolts out the door. Everyone that is, except for me, Tyler, and Edward. Tyler walks over to my desk while Edward takes his time packing up his things and makes a big show out of looking over his notes. Something's up because Edward never pays that much attention to his studies.

"So I wanted to ask you something," Tyler says.

I turn away from where Edward grunts under his breath and say, "Sure, what's up?"

"Well, I know you're going to Kate's party tomorrow and I was wondering if you'd like to—"

Tyler doesn't get to finish his sentence when I almost get knocked to the ground by Edward. He finished looking over what interested him in his notes and was making for the door when he bumped into me. I would have landed face first on the ground if he hadn't reached out to stop me.

"Watch out there, brown eyes," he says and my heart stops because it's the first time he's spoken to me since the second week of school. He helps me right myself and bends down to pick up our things and separate them. When he hands me my books, I could swear he glares at Tyler out of the corner of his eye. He tosses me a signature smirk and adjusts his jacket, leaving the classroom without so much as another word to me.

"What a prick," Tyler mutters. "Anyway, I wanted to know if you'd like to go to the party with me."

It takes me a second to answer him. I'm too focused on trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Even blitzed out of his mind, Edward is one of the most graceful people I've ever met. There was no way he just bumped into me by chance. He must have heard what Tyler was about to do and tried to stop it. But why should he care? It's not like he's interested in me and my life. He made that perfectly clear when he decided to write me off yet again.

So I come to the mildly painful conclusion that he didn't do it because he cared about what Tyler was going to ask me. He did it just to be a jerk.

Story of Edward Cullen's life.

"Um, Bella?"

"Sorry. Uh sure, Tyler, we can go to the party together."

"Sweet, I'll come by with Jasper to get you from Alice's tomorrow night then."

"Sounds like a plan," I agree only half paying attention.

Tyler seems satisfied enough and leaves me and the classroom behind. I shake off the whole incident. Including the fact that I'm pretty sure I just agreed to go on a date with Tyler Crowley. Why is it every time Edward decides to grace my life with his presence things get weird? It's not fair.

When I step out of the classroom, I try to ignore the pair of cloudy emerald eyes I know are fixed on me from across the hall. I hate that I can tell when he's looking at me like I have some sort of sick sixth sense or something. It's annoying and makes the whole ignoring him back thing pretty difficult to accomplish.

~ 0 o 0 ~

I'm pushing my spaghetti around on my plate instead of eating it at dinner that night and Charlie immediately knows that something's up. He plays it cool and doesn't come right out and ask, thank god. Instead, he just makes small talk about comfortable subjects like school and friends, looking for answers without actually pressing for them.

"So, I'm working late tomorrow night with the holiday and all. Got any big Halloween plans, Bells?" he asks.

"Not really. Rose and I are probably just going to spend the night over at Alice's and watch scary movies and hand out candy," I shrug.

Lie.

I seem to be doing that a lot lately where Charlie is concerned.

"No trick-or-treating?"

"Dad," I groan, putting down my fork and looking at him. "We're in high school now, nobody goes trick-or-treating anymore."

He just laughs. "Sorry, Bells. I keep forgetting that you're grown-up now."

If he only knew where I'll really be tomorrow night. He thinks staying home watching movies and handing out candy to sugar high kids is grown up? What would he think about a party with drinking and boys and scantily clad girls?

He'd kill me.

I feel a little guilty about lying to Charlie, but I know there's no way he'd let me go and this is just one of those experiences I'm entitled to as a teenager. Besides, everyone's expecting me to be there and I've already told Tyler that we can go together. It's not like I'm going to get trashed and ruin my life in a single night. I'm much more responsible than that. What Charlie doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

I sure hope so, because I find myself at Alice's the next night as planned.

"What do you mean you still don't have a costume?" Rose screeches.

"Just what I said, Rosalie. I'll just wear what I have on now," I shrug.

"Bella," Jess sighs from behind an issue of _Seventeen_, "You can't wear chucks and a hoodie to a Halloween party."

"Why not? I'll go as my evil twin," I say sticking my tongue out like a little kid for emphasis.

"More like your fashionless twin," Rose snorts.

I'm about to tell her where she can go when Alice finally reappears from rummaging around in her closet. I was beginning to think we'd lost her in there. She tosses a wad of black fabric at me before clapping her hands and jumping up and down. "I found the perfect costume for you, Bells."

I unwind the fabric and my eyes about bulge out of my head at the sight of the tight black dress in my hands. If you can even call it a dress; I think the seamstress may have run out of fabric, personally. Alice ignores my reaction completely and tosses a pair of knee-high black leather boots my way as well as a silver cross on a long chain and a handful of bangles.

"What am I going as, a streetwalker?" I murmur.

"No, you're going as a sexy vampire," she scrunches her face and opens a few of her desk drawers before pulling out a black Venetian mask. "There, that's just what you need to complete the outfit."

"What outfit? All you've given me is a black scrap of fabric and hooker boots. Seriously, Ali, these look like they came straight out of _Pretty Woman_."

Rosalie and Jess fall into fits of laughter, but Alice just squares her shoulder and drags me over to a desk chair. She pulls her curling iron off her dresser and plugs it in to heat up. "Suck it up, Swan. Give me an hour and I'll have you looking drop dead gorgeous."

True to her word, Alice is finished with me and stuffing me into the constricting black number within an hour. She zips up the boots and slathers some bright red lipstick across my lips and deems me her masterpiece. I dread looking in the mirror, but do it anyway. My hair is a teased mess of loose curls and I'm wearing enough black eyeliner to keep MAC in business for the next thirty years. I beg Alice for a jacket or something to cover up the top half of my body at least a little, but she refuses saying that I should "flaunt the goods." I have to admit that, although I'm completely uncomfortable, I do look pretty good after Alice's handiwork.

Satisfied, the girls get into their own costumes. Jess, true to her word, is pulling off a fairy pretty darn well. She looks great in a short green flowy dress with strappy sandals and the glittery wings she and Rose have been working on all week. Rosalie decided to flaunt her own goods by going to the party as Jessica Rabbit from _Who Framed Roger Rabbit?_ It's strange to see her as a red head instead of a blonde, but she makes it look flawless and natural. She looks like she could be at a college party and I just know Emmett's jaw is going to hit the floor when he sees her. Alice manages to shimmy into the short black taffeta number I wore to one of our middle school dances and transforms herself into a witch with just the right balance of cute and sexy. Looking around the room, I can hardly recognize us, but somehow we've transformed ourselves from gawky fourteen and fifteen year olds into beautiful women. This must be what it feels like to be an adult.

Alice reaches under her bed and pulls out a bottle of alcohol. Rose and Jess squeal, but Alice shushes them quickly so her parents don't hear. She fills up four Looney Toons glasses about halfway with the stuff and makes a toast. She calls what we're doing pre-gaming, getting ready for the party ahead by drinking a little bit before. I hesitate; the stuff in my glass smells a lot stronger than the beers we were drinking on the beach a couple months ago. And after my experience with the whiskey and Edward, I don't know if that's a good thing.

The girls are spinning around the room, laughing up a storm, their glasses almost empty. I'm just being a baby. If I'm going to look like a grown up, I should act like one too. After all, I'm fourteen. In another four years, I really will be an adult. It's just one glass. I can handle that.

I close my eyes and down a gulp. My throat burns and my eyes water a little, but it's not so bad. I'm not feeling whatever buzz the girls are, but I join in their dancing and end up having fun anyway. I deny Alice's attempt to refill my glass once it's empty. Then, before too long, we hear two short horn beeps from downstairs. Jasper and the boys are in Alice's driveway, piled into Jasper's new Jeep. He got his license a few weeks ago and now Alice has a boyfriend with wheels; a fact that she's always willing to share.

We throw coats on over our less than modest costumes and bound down the stairs. Alice shouts a goodbye to her parents and we're out the door and in the Jeep. Jasper waits until we pull off Alice's road before he blasts the stereo and we all start singing along. The heat is blasting so I unbutton my coat, revealing a little of my costume. Everyone else is too busy to see, but Tyler notices. He nudges me with his shoulder and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"You look great," he says taking my hand in his and squeezing it just a little.

Just like that I'm on a cloud. I'm high, high, high up above the rest of the world. Tyler thinks I look great. Not just good or okay, but great! Someone's released about a million butterflies in my stomach and I think I'm finally starting to feel a little buzz from that drink Alice gave me. This date thing could be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

We pull up outside Kate's house and the party has already started. Tyler puts his hands around my waist and lifts me out of Jasper's humongous Jeep. I feel my feet hit the ground, but I'm still up in the air on that cloud. I like the feeling of his hands on my hips and it almost makes me sad when they leave. He takes me hand in his though and that almost makes up for it. I'm really patting myself on the back for telling Tyler yes. I like how I feel with him. It's easy, simple even. I like Tyler and I like simple. No second thoughts or confusion here.

We walk inside and straight through to the kitchen where Alice greets Kate with a kiss on each of her cheeks. She introduces us to everyone and then the drinks start flowing the night really begins. Tyler gets me a beer and I sip slowly on it, not wanting to go overboard like I did the last time. There's a big group of kids dancing in the living room and several on the couches just sitting and talking or doing other things. We join the dancing group, swaying lightly back and forth to the beat, but I see Tyler's eyes wander toward some of the less inconspicuous couples and my stomach clenches.

I think I want him to kiss me. I mean, if he made me feel butterflies just by touching me, why wouldn't I want him to kiss me? Tyler's a nice guy, totally responsible, and we have all the same friends. I'd be crazy not to want him to kiss me, right? I mean, he told me how great I look and he's been by my side since we got to Kate's. Those are all good things to have in a guy who you mean want to kiss you. And he looks like he maybe wants to kiss me too.

I don't have much time to find out before Emmett comes bounding over and grabs him, demanding that they get a game of beer pong going in the basement. Tyler looks to me for permission, but I just shrug my shoulders. He smiles and pecks me on the cheek before going off to join the boys downstairs. As much as that one little cheek kiss made my heart shoot up, I'm kind of glad I don't have to worry about any other kisses for a while.

We're laughing and dancing with Jess, Alice having gone off to some private room to play "Seven Minutes in Heaven" with Jazz, when I feel the tap on my shoulder.

I spin around to face a tall, broad shouldered boy dressed simply in black slacks, a white shirt with black a skinny tie, and a mask similar to my own. His hair is rumpled, like he's been running his fingers through it and it's the color of a russet sunset. Even without the tell-tale hair, I'd know Edward just from the clouded green eyes staring at me from behind the mask.

"What do you want?"

"Just to tell you how beautiful you look tonight, brown eyes," he says with a cheeky smile.

"I'm here with Tyler, Edward. But considering your little show in English yesterday, I'm guessing you already knew that." I turn away from him wanting to just walk away, but Rosalie and Jess have gotten lost somewhere in the crowd and now I'm stuck. That's the second time the buddy system has failed me and I'm beginning to wonder if it works at all.

"Jesus, Bella. Don't be so mad," Edward grumbles from behind me.

"I'm not mad. I'm not anything. I'm not even acknowledging that you exist right now."

"If you're really here with Crowley," Edward says, ignoring me completely, "Then why don't I see him anywhere?"

"He's off with the guys, it's not a big deal," I shrug.

"You know," he says leaning down to whisper in my ear. "If you were my date, I wouldn't let you out of my sight even once. Especially not when you look as sexy as that."

I ignore the army of butterflies in my stomach and whip around to face him. "What the hell are you playing at?"

"Nothing. I'm just trying to be friendly. I like us a lot more when we're friendly," he chuckles.

"You're high," I say in an attempt to turn back around and ignore him.

"So? Mary Jane doesn't make me appreciate Bella Swan any less."

"Edward," I sigh. "What can I do to get you to go away?"

"Dance with me. Just one song," he whispers, sliding his hand down my side. I grab it and twist his wrist around so far that he yelps. "Christ, Swan!"

"Think again, Edward. I'm not dancing with you."

I don't know what the hell he thinks he's doing, but I'm not playing. Who does he think he is anyway? It's been a never-ending yo-yo with him since that first party on the beach. I almost miss the days when we just ignored each other completely. At least then I always knew where I stood. Now all the jackass is doing is messing with my head.

"One dance, Bella. Just one and then things go back to normal," he pleads.

"Why do you want to dance with me so bad?" I sigh.

"I miss you, okay? I can't explain it. I just miss you," he says with puppy dog eyes.

And with that, the bastard knows he's just won. It's the same look he used to give me when we were kids and there was only one cookie left. He'd give me those big eyes and look at the ground all shy-like and I'd cave. I'd cave every single stupid time. Clearly, he remembers and is channeling that once-innocent part of himself because he doesn't look a day out of practice. This is wrong. This has bad idea written all over it, but I concede anyway. I can't ignore the part of myself that still wants to make her best friend happy. Even if that person is so far removed from being my best friend that it makes no sense at all.

So I take his hand.

And he pulls me close.

And we dance.

Dancing with Edward is a lot like making a decision that you know is really stupid, but doing it anyway. It's danger and uncertainty and chemistry. It's the way our bodies move together, like they started out as one whole human that was just cut in half, right down the middle. And while Tyler's hands on my waist gave me butterflies, Edward's hands obliterate me until there's nothing left. He slides them effortlessly over my waist, like he's done it a million times instead of just once. He brushes his nose against my collarbone and breathes me in. Everything about the situation is wrong, but it feels so right.

I mean, this is Edward Cullen, the kid whose mission in life was to make mine as miserable as possible for most of our formative years. Edward Cullen the burnout who isn't going anywhere and creates a new scandal with one lucky Forks' High female every other week. There's nothing good or decent or attractive about any of it.

And yet, he's also Edward Cullen who was my best friend. Edward Cullen who shared cookies with me and promised to protect me from the monster under his bed when I'd sleep over. The Edward who gave me a doll for our first Christmas because her eyes reminded him of mine. The Edward who put his ass on the line to keep Charlie from busting me at my first ever high school party.

The song slows down and so do we. We just stand there for a minute, Edward with his arms around me as the next song starts. When he finally pulls back, I see a tiny glimpse of the Edward I used to know behind his clouded eyes. He looks over my shoulder for a second and a slow smirk breaks out over his face.

"Thanks for the dance, brown eyes," he whispers before walking away. I watch him walk away for a second before turning around to meet the glassy eyes of my friends. Alice and Jasper are still off somewhere doing who knows what while Rose and Jess stand off to the side of the room looking confused by what they've just seen. Rose is the one to step forward and make her way over to me.

"Who was that you were dancing with?" she asks, so far gone that she couldn't have recognized him if she wanted to.

I struggle for an answer when I notice Tyler standing across the room at the foot of the basement stairs. Our eyes meet and he gives me a blank look, like he can't believe he's really even looking at me. And I know, I just know, that he saw everything. Or at least enough to fill in whatever blanks he did miss.

I want to throw something. I want to kick and scream and cry. I want to find Edward and slap him so hard that he sees stars. He knew! He knew exactly what he was doing. All that crap about missing me when all he really wanted to do was mess things up with me and Tyler. Edward Cullen is an ass. Worse than that, he's scum on the bottom of my hooker boots.

I watch Tyler turn away from me and head out the front door and into the yard and my stomach free falls like I've gone over the big drop on a rollercoaster.

Oh shit.


	5. Don't Speak

Chapter Four – Don't Speak

"_Our memories, well, they can be inviting. But some are altogether mighty frightening… Don't speak.  
I know just what you're saying, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me 'cause it hurts.  
Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons.  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts."_ – Don't Speak by No Doubt

**BPOV**

_Present Day, November 2007_

I sit in the cafeteria and push the school's excuse for mashed potatoes around my tray. It's been a week since Tyler's even so much as looked at me. I watch him now, sitting clear across the cafeteria laughing with Eric and Mike. The official rumor is that I got trashed and the guy I was dancing with was one of Kate's brother's friends from Peninsula College. The details go any which way from there, but I don't even care enough to correct people at this point. The only thing that matters is that Tyler hates me now and my whole life is ruined.

I hear someone laugh as they walk by and see the devil himself take a seat a couple tables down. I could kill Edward and his smug, carefree smile. I've thought about it a million times in the past seven days. He gets to go on laughing with his delinquent parade and their never-ending line of bimbos while I sit here totally miserable. There's nothing fair about it at all.

"Cheer up. He's gonna get over it, kid," Emmett says taking a seat across from me. I don't even have the energy to yell at him for calling me kid.

Emmett seems to be under the impression that this whole thing will blow over. He says that Tyler is just mad and needs some time to process everything. I think Emmett is full of it. If I was Tyler, I would never speak to me again. Rose tries to tell me that it was just a dance and the whole thing isn't a big deal at all, but none of them understand. I guess I'm not so much upset about Tyler as I am that I let Edward get to me like he did. I feel like an idiot for buying into his bullshit. That's what really has me down.

I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it, either. Not even Alice.

I know exactly how my friends feel about Edward and his group. Jasper obviously tolerates Peter since he's his brother, but the general consensus is that they just aren't good guys and we definitely don't associate with them. So how can I possibly tell my best friends that I did something as stupid as letting Edward Cullen mess with my head. They'd never understand.

"Bella, why don't I come over after school and we'll have some girl time?" Alice offers.

I hear Tyler laugh loudly from across the cafeteria and I can't take it anymore. "Sounds good, Alice. I have some homework I have to finish before next block. I think I'll finish lunch in the library. See you guys later," I say. I grab my tray and toss it, making my way to the door.

I don't have any homework. I've done nothing but school work constantly for the past week. I guess I'm kind of punishing myself. So I end up wandering the halls aimlessly, trying to find some way to kill the next forty-five minutes and coming up with nothing. I've really made a mess of things. The first guy ever to be interested in me like that and I go and screw it all up, typical Bella. Never mind the fact that the entire school has done nothing but talk about me since the night of the party.

Some freshman year this is turning out to be. This isn't the magic of making new friends and overcoming differences like in _The Breakfast Club_ or the exciting new romance of something like _Sixteen Candles_, this is just hurt and confusion and annoyance. Why couldn't John Hughes be the director of my life? He always made it seem so easy for those eighties brat pack actors. I make my way to my locker and slide down to the floor. I'm being a miserable loser and I know it, but I'm a teenager and that means angst, angst, angst. At least that's how it is in the movies.

Maybe Emmett's right and Tyler will get over it and talk to me again and everything will be fine. Maybe this is just the part of my movie where everything seems really shitty before the big plot twist takes over and everything works out in the end. A girl can hope, right? And there's nothing but hope coming from me.

The bell rings and it isn't long before the hallways clog with students rushing to their lockers, trying to make it to class on time. I sigh and pull myself up, turning the dial on my lock and grabbing the books necessary to get me through the end of the day. One more class and then it's junk food and gossip magazines with Alice. Maybe all I need is a little estrogen and my best friend to fix my mood. I smile and the thought of finally having something to look forward to and make my way to class.

I'm one of the last ones to make it to English and almost every eye in the room is on me as I make my seat. Every eye except for Tyler's and Edward's I notice. Perfect.

Mr. Horner shows up late and calls the class to attention. He's lecturing about _Lord of the Flies_ and mob mentalities and the death of Piggy. It's way too depressing for my mood, so I tune him out. Instead, I focus on the way Tyler bounces his leg up and down in front of me. He doesn't stop fidgeting for the entire class. His leg moves up and down and his hand tap, tap, taps on his desk. Something is bothering him and I can guess that it's probably me. Between that and the feeling of Edward's eyes finally moving in my direction, I'm really uncomfortable. I slide down in my seat and pretend to be really interested in the notes I'm not taking. It doesn't stop Edward from staring at me or Tyler from moving all over the place though.

Halfway through class, Edward asks to use the bathroom and doesn't come back. Tyler seems to calm down a little once he's gone and I get a break from pretending to care about literary analysis.

I'm almost too happy when the bell rings. I bolt from my seat so fast that I almost miss Mr. Horner's announcement that we'll be starting _Romeo and Juliet _after Thanksgiving break. But that's an entire three weeks from now. I'll be lucky if I'm still alive by then. For all I know, the school, or at least the freshman class, could kill me _Lord of the Flies _style by then. If I don't throw myself off a cliff before they get the chance to try. Either way, I'm definitely Piggy in this situation. All I want to do is get to my locker and the safety of a night with my best friend.

Apparently someone else has other plans for me.

A hand grabs my shoulder hard and tugs me into one of the hall utility closets. I'm not at all surprised to find that the hand belongs to Edward.

"I don't even want to look at you right now, much less talk to you," I say.

"Well, hello to you too, Bella."

"You're such a jackass," is my only reply.

"The door's right there," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

He's right, the door is right there. I can walk out and ignore him. I can never speak to him again if that's what I want. I can live in a perfect little bubble where Edward Cullen doesn't even exist. I can end this all right now, once and for all.

But I don't. I stay and just stare him down. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"That's what I thought."

"What do you want?" I ask and I regret it. I regret it the second the words leave my dumb mouth because I'm showing interest. I'm letting him win and I've done that too much already.

"To apologize. I was out of line last weekend and I didn't mean for you to get hurt." He seems sincere and that throws me off. I also notice that his eyes are clear today. This may be the first conversation I've had with him in a long time where he's completely sober. It's possible I'm talking to the best friend I thought was gone forever. I decide to test that theory out.

"Yeah well, that'll happen when you're blitzed out of your mind. You're not today though. Are you?" I ask.

He looks at the ground and kicks his feet a couple time. He's fidgeting and that's unlike him, even when he is high. "Not in that sense. I may have had a couple of Pete's Adderall this morning."

"I should go," I tell him. I don't care if he's not high as a kite right now. He's still under the influence of something and until that changes, I'll never see the little boy I spent my days with again. That's who I keep holding out for. I hate this Edward who does bad things and takes drugs and treats girls like dirt. I hate the Edward who danced with me on purpose at a party just ruin my chances with another boy.

"Wait! Just let me explain," he says grabbing my arm again. "I did it on purpose. I knew that Tyler would see. I knew they all would see and I'm not sorry for that. The only thing I'm sorry for is that you got so hurt. I don't ever want you to hurt."

"Then why'd you do it in the first place?" I demand.

"Because… Because I don't like you with him, okay? It makes me crazy. You're so much better than him. You're better than all of them. You're the best and you deserve the best and I know that makes no sense coming from a screw up like me. But not much does these days."

I don't even know what to say. He doesn't _like _me with Tyler? Why does it even matter to him? I don't know what kind of big brother logic he's trying to justify here, but it's total bullshit. He's not even a part of my life anymore, well, not really anyway. He's definitely not involved enough to decide who I can and can't talk to or be with or go after. And all that stuff about me being the best and deserving the best, what the hell is that? I'm naïve enough not to know what exactly it is that Adderall does to you, but apparently it makes Edward lose his mind.

And it makes me mad as hell.

"You don't get to make those decisions for me. You don't get to make any decisions for me. We aren't friends anymore, Edward. We aren't anything. We haven't been in years. So do me and yourself a favor and just back off, okay? I don't want your help!" I shout.

He just stares at me, not saying a word, but I'm riled. I'm high on anger and frustration and that's nothing compared to his pot and Adderall. I could demolish a brick building with the rage built up inside me. I want to demolish Edward. I want to erase him from the world completely. Maybe then my life could go the way it was supposed to if he had never been a part of it. I don't care if we used to be best friends anymore. I don't care how many afternoons we spent watching Power Rangers and playing with his stupid Matchbox cars or baking cookies and eating the dough when our mom's weren't looking. I just want him gone. Away from me and my friends and what's left of my life that he hasn't ruined yet.

So I leave. I walk away, like I should have before. I was stupid to think there was anything left of the green eyed little boy I was friends with. I was stupid and crazy and just an idiot. But I'll never make the mistake of letting him get to me again. No more. Never ever _ever_ again. It's done.

I take off down the hallway and don't even give myself a second to think of the dumbstruck look on Edward's face. I don't let myself think of how hurt he actually looked. I don't think of the other times I've seen that look on his face. When his parent's would fight or the day I tackled him on the playground. Or at school after his own mother forgot to pick him up from the dance.

I don't let myself think of these things because they trick me. They make me believe that there's still hope for him, for us, to be like we used to be.

So instead I find Alice. Nice, safe, best friend Alice. And I climb into the back of Jasper's Jeep. And we take off for my house. And I just let it all go because it hurts too much to think about.

~ 0 o 0 ~

Alice and I are three episodes deep in Hannah Montana, which neither one of us would ever admit to watching. She's painting my nails a sea foam green that I'll probably take off after she leaves and I'm flipping through Seventeen looking for affordable fashion options and reading up on the Hottie of the Month. We're pigging out on chocolate and popcorn and cookies. Things are easy with Alice. As simple and uncomplicated as can be. It's a total girl's night and exactly what I needed.

I hear a car pull into the gravel driveway and Charlie makes his way through the front door. He must smell the sugar and acetone because he immediately steps into the living room where we're camped out.

"Hello, Alice. To what do we owe the pleasure?" he asks.

"Hey, Chief Swan. Bella here has had her heart absolutely broken, so I'm here to mend the pieces," she says dramatically.

Charlie frowns and trains his eyes on me like he can actually see physical evidence of this broken heart Alice is talking about. "Everything okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, Dad, everything's fine. Alice is just over dramatic."

Charlie seems to accept this, but makes sure I know all about his knowledge of wielding a gun before he heads off to the kitchen to read the paper. Sometimes I love having Charlie as a dad. He's perfectly laid back and knows how to give me just enough love without being overbearing. The total opposite of mom, who would be hovering and singing "The Best of Both Worlds," with Alice and I on the floor right now. Distance is a good thing sometimes. I hope when I have kids I'm a lot like Charlie in how I raise them.

"So what are we going to do about your boy troubles, Isabella?" Alice asks as Miley's identity is threatened for the millionth time.

"Nothing, Alice. So don't get any bright ideas. I'm just going to let things go however they go."

She shrugs and goes back to giving me a manicure. I get up to pop another bowl of popcorn and we settle in on the couch to watch mindless television and lose ourselves in someone else's problems for a half hour. Alice falls asleep after the fifth episode and I call Jasper to come pick her up, figuring she's probably out of commission for the rest of the night. I hear the Jeep pull about fifteen minutes later and then not one, but two car doors slam shut. I creep over to the window and look outside. Sure enough, Jasper is here to pick up Alice, but more surprising, is that Tyler is with him.

My heart about leaps out of my chest and I want nothing more than to shake Alice awake and ask her what I'm supposed to do. She's the older, more experienced one here, after all.

I don't have time to even think about it before there's a knock on the door.

"Want me to get that, Bells?" Charlie calls from the kitchen.

"No, Dad! I've got it!" The last thing I need right now is Charlie's less than divine intervention. I run to the hall mirror and check to make sure what little makeup I have on isn't smudge from lying on the couch and that my hair isn't a haystack on top of my head. Someone knocks again and I know that if I don't answer it now, Charlie will come and do it for me. So without too much thought, I throw the door open.

"Hello, Bella. I'll just let myself inside to get that girlfriend of mine," Jasper says with a smirk.

I remind myself to kill Jasper.

He shuts the door behind him and calls a hello to Charlie. Then it's just me and Tyler. Alone on my front porch. In the middle of the most awkward situation I've ever been forced into.

I remind myself to kill Jasper in a really grotesque and painful way.

"Hey, Tyler," I say pulling my sweatshirt a little tighter around myself. It's a cold November night and I'd much rather be parked in front a mindless half-hour sitcom with my best friend. Why can't life come with some rewind button or something for moments like this when said best friend's boyfriend leaves you to deal with the problems you've been avoiding.

Tyler looks about as comfortable as I feel when he says, "Hey, Bella."

I kick at the faded wood of the porch and avoid his eyes. I feel like one of the convicts dad escorts to the maximum security prison in Seattle every now and then. Like every eye is on me and I'm guilty as charged. I'm try to think of something, anything, to say that can make this all better. I just want to go back before that stupid party when everything was normal and my stupid emotions didn't get me into trouble. I just want Tyler to like me again.

"It was Cullen wasn't it?" he blurts out.

I stop dead. Of all the things I expected him to say, that definitely wasn't on my list.

He knows. He asked me, but I can see it in his eyes that he knows and that makes everything ten times worse. I know now why he was so hurt. I bet he wishes the rumors were true. Because Tyler and Edward are on polar opposite sides of the world. They hate each other and I crossed enemy lines last weekend.

"Yeah," is all I can manage.

Tyler just nods, everything he assumed now confirmed and out in the open. He's quiet for what feels like forever, but is probably only a minute or two. "You and him… You were best friends a long time ago, weren't you?" he asks.

Now it's my turn to be quiet because I have a choice. I could deny it. Everyone was there to see Edward and I grow up together, but I don't think anyone has ever really understood how important he was to me back then. I could tell Tyler that Edward meant nothing and it was all just a big misunderstanding. I could sweep everything under the rug and live a double life like my favorite Disney Channel star.

Or I can be honest. I can come right out with it and if Tyler hates me for it, then so be it. But he at least deserves the truth.

My stomach drops, but I let everything come spilling out before I have the chance to change my mind.

I tell him about my long lost best friend. I tell him as much as I'm comfortable sharing. I tell him about our moms and how we both were excited to have two instead of one. I tell him about spending days on end with each other. I tell him about the one little stupid fight that changed the way we saw each other. I tell him about the years of making each other miserable and the trouble we caused. I even tell him a few things I'd forgotten about. And it feels good. It feels so good to let it all go to someone. I've been nothing but confused about Edward and where he and I stand since school started. Now at least someone knows why. I wish I wasn't spilling my guts to the boy I like, but it's better than keeping it all inside. So, so, so much better than that.

And I do spill my guts to Tyler, but I save the most important part for last.

"We were important to each other, but last weekend was a mistake. I know without a doubt that he's never going to be that person again and I won't let him get to me like that. It's done now. All of it, for good. I see him for what he is now. I'm just sorry you had to get hurt in the process, Ty."

He's quiet and my heart is thundering in my ears like a jackhammer. I'll understand if he never speaks to me again, but I really, really hope he does. If this mess with Edward taught me anything, it's that I really like Tyler. I want a second chance, but I know that's probably asking a lot.

He finally looks at me and kind of shrugs his shoulders. "That's… that explains a lot, actually. I guess I forgot how close you guys used to be."

"Yeah," I mumble again.

"Look, I really like you, Bella. I won't tell anyone that it was him, I swear. What if we just forget this whole thing ever happened and try again? Would that be okay?" he asks.

Fireworks go off in my brain. He wants to try again! He's willing to let everything go and give me a second try. This is better than all the nail painting, popcorn eating, Hannah Montana watching nights with Alice I've ever had. And _he _asked _me _if it was okay. As if it could be anything, but okay. I'm over the moon here. I want to run inside and tell Charlie to forget all about his stupid gun and boy problems and all of it because they're finally over. I'm perfectly happy.

"I think that would be great," I say, trying to hide the huge smile threatening to take over my entire face.

"Really?" he asks with a smile of his own.

"Really."

The door flies open and Alice is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like some kind of maniac. Jasper just stands behind her in the doorway, belly-laughing so hard he looks like he might just pass out from the effort. "I knew it! I knew this would work out!" she shouts.

All the commotion brings Charlie out of the house and on to the porch to investigate like the cop he'll always be. He takes in Alice's huge smile and the unfamiliar boy on the porch and furrows his eyebrows.

Uh-oh.

"Everything alright out here, Bells?" he asks in his dad voice.

"Uh, yeah, Dad. Everything is fine, really."

He turns to Tyler and eyes him up and down, taking him in. I'm mortified, absolutely mortified. I want to crawl under one of the loose floorboards on the rickety old porch and die there. "You're the Crowley kid, aren't ya?" Charlie asks.

"Yes, sir. I'm Tyler, it's a pleasure to meet you," he says sticking out his hand. Charlie inches his way toward him, but takes it and grunts out a hello before meandering back into the house without another word.

"Your dad seems cool," Tyler says turning to me.

And I know right then and there with those four simple words that Tyler must really like me.

~ 0 o 0 ~

The next day at school is better than any teenage dream movie I've ever seen. Tyler holds my hand and walks me to every one of my classes. We sit next to each other in lunch and I don't think I've ever seen him look so happy. And seeing him happy makes me feel happy. A whirlwind of butterflies flutter around my stomach and I hope that they never stop. He looks over his shoulder at me at least half a dozen times during English and passes me little notes, then meets me at my locker after school before we head out to Jasper's Jeep to go home for the day.

We're standing at my locker and I'm filling my backpack with the piles of homework I have for the weekend, when I feel the eyes on me again. The same eyes that have been following me around all day.

Edward has taken notice of me and Tyler and I've noticed Edward noticing.

I feel good, empowered even, every time he looks my way. I've really shown him this time. For once, I came out the winner.

Despite his best efforts, Edward couldn't keep Tyler and me from happening and I love that. I love being the one to carry around a smug smile for once. So in your face, Edward Cullen. In your stupid, stupid face. I toss him a look across the hallway that says as much while Tyler is busy talking to Emmett about some big Seahawks game this weekend. Edward narrows his eyes and slings his own backpack over his shoulder, slamming his locker shut and disappearing.

"Ready to go, Bella?" Tyler asks.

I nod and smile, my whole body getting warm and tingly when he takes my hand in his. We head down the hall and toward the door, but someone blocks the way. Edward and Tanya are locked in a pretty heavy looking make-out session right in front of the back entrance to the school. Tyler clears his throat, annoyed and Edward pauses to look at us with a cheap grin on his face.

"I'm sorry, are we in your way?" he says more to me than Tyler.

"Actually, you are," Tyler spits.

Edward just laughs and moves to the side, making sure to pull Tanya with him so that their bodies stay touching. "Well, excuse us then. Have a nice night, brown eyes," he says to me as we make our way out the door.

I want to throw up. He did that on purpose. He knew we would be leaving through that door, so he found that dumb tramp Tanya and waited for us. Edward is so disgusting and I don't know how I ever thought we could be friends again. I don't know how we were friends, ever. And I don't care. I have Tyler, a real true and honest guy, in my life now, so I definitely don't need him.

But there's still a little voice in the back of my mind, so quiet that she's almost silent, wondering if he and Tanya are as official as me and Tyler now.

I don't have much time to think about it though, because fifteen minutes later we're pulling up slow in my gravel driveway and Tyler is helping me down from the Jeep. It took a lot to convince my dad to let me ride to school with Jasper and Alice last month, but now I'm even happier that he finally gave in. Now I get to ride home with my boyfriend every day too and that's just the best feeling in the whole world. It makes me forget all about stupid green eyed boys and their stupid blonde counterparts and all their stupid tricks.

Tyler walks me to the door and we stand there for a few minutes just talking and laughing. I'm glad that Charlie's been working late all week because I can just imagine him peeking his head through the curtains or something equally embarrassing to try and see what we're up to. I'll have to make mom talk to him about the dos and don'ts of letting your daughter date the next time she calls.

Jasper beeps the horn at us and I hear Alice burst into laughter from the passenger seat.

"Let's go, kids!" he yells.

"Guess that's my cue," Tyler sighs. He reaches up and pushes a piece of hair out of my face and behind my ear. It's a simple gesture, but one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. He leans a little closer to me and for just a second, I wonder if he's going to kiss me. I remember the night of the party and being unsure if that's what I wanted, but now, now I feel ready. If Tyler Crowley kissed me right now, it would make my entire day. He chuckles softly and pulls back a little. "I really want to kiss you, but I'm going to wait. Go out with me tomorrow night. Please?"

And of course I say yes because what else is there to say?

I'm genuinely happy for the first time in a week and he's the reason why. I've finally won and I love the feeling. It's like being on top of the world multiplied by a million.

Tyler smiles and runs to climb in the backseat. Alice shouts that she'll call me later and then they're peeling out of the driveway and gone.

I decide to butter up Charlie with a home cooked meal before I ask him about the date, so I get started on putting together the best lasagna I've ever made. It's just coming out of the oven, making our kitchen smell like an Italian restaurant when I hear the front door open and the unmistakable sound of Charlie's boots on the floor. He hangs up his gun belt and takes off his jacket before he comes looking for me.

"Bells?" he calls.

"In here, Dad!" I shout back.

He pokes his head around the doorway and takes a deep breath. "That Grandma Swan's recipe?" he asks.

"Sure is," I laugh.

There's no faster way to Charles Swan's heart than through his stomach and Grandma Swan's lasagna is the best mode of attack. Charlie grabs two plates from the cupboard over the sink and begins filling his with as much of the pasta, meat, and sauce as he can. I take my time, filling two big glasses with milk and taking the garlic bread out of the oven before I fix my own dinner plate and sit next to him at the table. He inhales his food without saying much, but I'm stuck suddenly by nerves and can barely bring myself to take a single bite. I hope and hope that Charlie won't notice, but he's a dad, so of course he does.

"Something up, Bells?" he asks between bites of food.

"Well now that you mention it, Dad, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

Charlie sets his fork down and sighs. "I should have known the lasagna came at a price. Alright, lay it on me, Bells."

I'm quiet, trying to think of the best way to put this. Charlie is probably one of the most laidback parents on the entire Olympic Peninsula, but you bring up a boy and he turns into Super-Dad. I have to play this the right way. I have to make it sound just casual enough to pass it off as not a big deal, but big enough that he realizes how important it is to me. I need to remain calm, cool and collected. I need to keep my game face on and not show weakness. He's like a predator; he can smell weakness and fear. I just need to remain calm.

"Bella?"

"IhaveadatewithTylerCrowleytomorrownight!" I shout. Alright, maybe the calm route didn't exactly work for me here.

Charlie almost spits his lasagna out and for Charlie Swan to waste good Italian food like that says a lot. He narrows his eyes at me and I feel like one of the suspects in Chief Swan's interrogation room instead of his daughter.

"Tyler Crowley? That boy who was over here last night? I barely even know him."

"Dad, you've worked with his dad at the station for, what, ten years now?"

"Doesn't mean I know or like the kid," Charlie mutters.

"It's not a big deal," I say clearing our plates from the table.

"My little girl going on a date is most definitely a big deal, Bella. Fine, I'll let you go, but that boy better come by the house to introduce himself first."

"You've already met him," I groan.

"My game, my rules," Charlie states with a sense of finality.

I turn to wash our dishes and roll my eyes. I guess things could have gone worse. Now I just have to survive an awkward meet and greet between the guy I'm going out with and my father. Shouldn't be too painful, right? I make a mental note to call Alice later and ask what it was like to bring Jasper home for the first time. I hear Charlie head into the living room to watch TV. I turn the radio on and wash the dishes when the worst idea imaginable crosses my mind.

I hope Charlie doesn't pull out his gun.

~ 0 o 0 ~

Luckily for me, the whole Charlie-meeting-my-new-boyfriend thing ends without anyone getting worked up… or shot. I'm so happy that I'm smiling like a fool the entire ride to the mall in the back of Tyler's mom's van.

She's nice, Tyler's mom. She calls me sweetheart and asks me about school and my friends. We laugh and joke and for a second, she reminds me of another boy's mother. A woman who I used to think of as my own surrogate mother a long time ago. Of course, no one will ever live up to the legend that is Esme Cullen, but Mrs. Crowley is awesome. In fact, this whole night is awesome. That's what I keep telling myself over and over again. I'm here, with the boy I like who likes me back and nothing could be better.

Mrs. Crowley drops us off outside the theater entrance where we're supposed to be meeting Rosalie and Emmett. My first date is a double date and that makes everything ten times better because I know that Rose has more experience with this kind of thing than I do. If I follow her lead tonight, Tyler and I will definitely get off to a good start.

Rose spots me and runs over to pull me into a hug. Tyler and Emmett greet each other with that weird fist-bump thing guys do and then Rosalie is pulling me ahead of them and we've split into boys and girls just like that. I know I'm new at this whole dating thing, but isn't the point of it to spend time with the person you're on the date with? I take a deep breath and remind myself that Rose knows what she's doing and this is probably just how these things go.

Tyler and Emmett talk NFL and basketball tryouts while Rosalie and I kill time shopping around for things we don't need with the money we got from our parents. We still have half an hour before the movie starts and that's a lot of time for two teenage girls to blow thirty bucks. Rose pulls me over to look at the nail polish while Tyler and Emmett check out some comic books. Rose uncaps a bottle and paints a line down her thumbnail, shrugging when the color doesn't turn out how she expects.

"So how are things going with lover boy?" she asks making kissy faces at me.

I shove her with my shoulder and she just laughs. "I don't know. Shouldn't we be spending more time with them? I mean we're on a date."

"Oh, Bella, don't you worry. You'll spend _plenty _of time with him in the theater. Speaking of which," she says glancing at the time on her Razr, "We better start heading back that way."

I must be naïve, because I don't really understand what Rosalie means. She calls for the boys and our group reassembles as we make our way toward the movies. The boys buy our tickets and a large bucket of popcorn for us to share. The previews have started by the time we walk in, so the whole room is already dark. Rose and Emmett lead the way while Tyler holds my hand and jostles a large soda in the other. They make their way down one of the last rows of seats and Tyler makes sure I have everything I need before he sits down.

We watch a few of the previews in silence. I'm turning to ask Rosalie if she wants to catch the latest chick flick with Alice and Jess next weekend when I finally understand what Rosalie meant about spending time with the boys in the theater.

She and Emmett have essentially become one person. They're kissing so intensely that I think I just heard her moan a little bit and that's a sound I never really wanted to hear coming from my best friend.

I'm glad the theater is dark because I can feel my cheeks turn red and my eyes go wide as I turn back to face the jumbo screen. A quick look around confirms what I was afraid of. Just about every couple from the middle rows back is caught up in an intense make-out session right now. I think I even see Jacob Black with that red-headed girl, Victoria, from that first party a few rows up from us. Luckily, I don't spot Edward and his slut-bag. That's the last thing I need right now.

The thought of Edward and Tanya only distracts me from my anxiety for a minute though.

Does Tyler want me to do those things? Is he upset because we're not caught up in a lip-lock? Why didn't I know about this rule of being a teenager?

I'm starting to wish that Charlie put up a bigger fight about me coming out tonight.

Rose slips down in her seat as Emmett gets closer to her and I just sink into mine. What am I supposed to do? Tyler and I haven't even had our first kiss yet! I can't just start making out with him, can I? Maybe that's how this whole thing works. Maybe I'm just being picky, but I didn't really envision my first kiss being a steamy make-out in the middle of a crowded movie theater. Besides, who pays seven dollars for a movie they aren't even going to watch?

Fifteen minutes into the movie and I'm brave enough to glance at Tyler from the corner of my eye. He's gripping the popcorn bucket pretty hard and I hope I'm not disappointing him.

Rosalie and Emmett have finally come up for air and are attempting to actually watch the movie. Rose nudges me with her arm and when I look at her she gestures toward Tyler. She wants me to kiss him. I know that's what she wants. And she's crazy if she thinks that going to happen. I shake my head no and she just sighs while Emmett chuckles next to her.

I'm glad he finds my embarrassment so funny.

Tyler must hear Emmett because now he's looking at me and I'm just kind of wishing I could disappear into my seat. I force myself to keep my eyes on the screen. As long as I don't acknowledge that Rose and I were having a silent conversation or that Tyler is looking at me right now, everything will be fine. Just remain calm, Bella. Calm, calm, calm.

Tyler tries to get my attention anyway though. As if he knows what's going through my head, he pushes the popcorn bucket my way as a peace offering. I look at him and I can just tell that he doesn't expect anything Rosalie-esque from me. He's not interested in a passionate make-out, just a simple first date. He smiles when I reach in the bucket and take a handful of popcorn. Then, he sets the bucket on the floor and takes my hand in his, squeezing it to reassure me that what we're doing, or not doing, is just fine with him.

I think I just fell for him a little harder.

After the movie, we're back in the back of Mrs. Crowley's van and my heart is racing up a mountain. Tyler's still holding my hand, he hasn't let go since he started holding it in the theater. Every now and then he gives it a little squeeze and smiles at me like a fool. I'm sure I look the same. I know I don't have anything to compare it to, but kissing or not, this is the best first date in the history of all first dates. It doesn't matter what it took to get here or who tried to sabotage us. It only matters that it's happening. It's really, really happening.

Tyler's mom pulls into my driveway and tells me goodnight and how happy she was to meet me. Then, Tyler is opening the door and we're climbing out and he's walking me to the front door and this is it. This is when he's going to kiss me. Every single bone in my body can feel it. I'm on fire, on edge, and I don't know if I can wait a second longer. I may have been nervous before, but now I'm ready. I'm so, so ready for this to be happening.

"I had a great time tonight, Bella," Tyler tells me.

"Me too."

He hesitates for just a second before he tugs my hand just a little bit closer to him and pulls me in for that kiss I've been waiting what feels like my whole life for. His lips meet me lips and my insides explode. I don't know what a heart attack feels like, but mine feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest. The kiss is short and sweet but, my god, is it perfect. I must be smiling like an idiot when he pulls away because Tyler just chuckles and leans back in to kiss me cheek.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight."

I watch him walk down my porch and get into the passenger seat of his mother's car. I watch her pull out of the driveway and take off down the road. It isn't until Charlie not-so-subtly flashes the porch light that I find it in me to move. I don't even care that he'll probably give me hell for kissing a boy on his front porch.

I've just had the best first kiss after the best first date of my life.

* * *

**Hello Everyone! **

**I'm extremely sorry for not updating last week. I had three papers due for school last week and still had about 2,000 words left to write of this chapter and things just got backlogged for a while. But here I am! I hope the chapter was worth waiting for! I'm not making any promises, but if time allows, I may try to get another chapter up during the week for you guys to make up for it. IF, it's not a definite, but I'll try. Otherwise, I'll be back next Sunday with the next chapter and just you wait, it's going to get real pretty quick ;) **

**Thanks for the support and keep the reviews coming! **


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